Monday, 17 June 2019
Vancouver, British Columbia, Canada
Really exciting day of doing nothing, dear reader. Today is a day of catching up on admin and emails. And planning the next few days.
Have a cracking view from hotel room overlooking the harbour and the mountains. The cruise ship below my window is a Disney ship. All I can hear all day is sodding Disney music permeating the air.
Walking back from dinner, see a shop selling Cuban Cigars. Hmmm. Not immune to the odd Cuban once in a while, pop in to have a look.
Shop owner is an Arab. With a limp. He greets me with, “Welcome back, Joseph isn’t it?”
Not called Joseph.
Never been in the shop before.
Don’t know him from Adam.
Accepting that he’s not the full shilling, agree that I am, indeed, Joseph.
After a Cohiba Siglo VI cigar.
Yes, my friend, we have. Here you are. As he pulls out a cigar from a box.
As soon as I walked in the shop, immediately suspicious that this is not a pukka cigar shop.
James J Fox Cigars (my usual haunt) on St James’s Street, London, this is not.
This is a grubby little newsagent kiosk type shop. The sort one might find in the Maid Marian Way/Friar Lane underpass in Nottingham of old. You know the one. That little shack.
Lots of old folk from Nottingham are reading this remembering how it used to be.
Handed what he says is a Cohiba Siglo VI. Having educated myself on legitimate Cohiba cigars and dodgy knock offs, can immediately tell it’s a dodgy knock off. All to do with the paper band wrapped around the cigar. Cohiba bands are top quality and there are tell tale signs to look out for. This cigar’s band is dreadful, blurred and blotted. Could do a better forgery with my 1970s John Bull printing set.
Arab is told it’s knock off. He’s adamant it’s not.
An argument ensues. Seeing that he’s losing the argument, he then tries to sell me some property.
I kid you not.
He obviously still thinks I’m his friend Joseph.
