Sunday, 14 April 2019
Key West, Florida, USA
Come on then.
Who can remember the American TV series from the 1960s/70s called ‘Gentle Ben’. Set in the Everglades and featuring a young boy and his ‘pet’ bear. They used to ride around on Dad’s airboat.
Remember?
I do.
And ever since those childhood days, have always wanted to zoom about the Everglades on an airboat.
Well, dear reader, after 40 odd years, my wish comes true.
There’s one long straight road through the Everglades. With water, trees and bushes along the wayside. Bit like Norfolk really.
Except Norfolk doesn’t have road signs saying, ‘Beware Panthers Crossing’, or ‘Do not feed the alligators’.
Bizarrely, in the middle of nowhere, is what is considered to be America’s smallest post office, in Ochopee. Formerly a pump house but converted to a post office in the 1950s. Can’t see that it would have much business. It is literally miles from anywhere.
In search of something to eat pull in to the Miccosukee Indian Reservation village. A restaurant and shop is advertised. Only wanting a quick sandwich ask where the restaurant is. It’s US$15 to enter the village and the restaurant’s in there. I am told.
But I don’t want to look at a touristy native Indian village. Just want a quick sandwich. She is told.
That’ll be US$15. Is the reply.
Really? Can I not just go and grab a sandwich? Common sense dictates so.
But no. It’s US15 to enter as you might have a quick sandwich and then go looking at the village.
Ask where the next place is to get a bit to eat and she says Miami. About 50 miles away. I know she’s lying. She knows she’s lying.
Depart. Muttering under my breath.
Drive a few hundred yards down the road and find a restaurant. Run by the same Indian tribe.
Miami my arse.
In search of an airboat ride. It’s Sunday afternoon. It’s busy with tourists. I’ve not booked anything in advance. First few have no availability and there’s a wait of 2hrs at one.
Hmmm.
Channelling my inner ‘Gentle Ben’ may have to wait another few years.
Finally, the penultimate airboat station has immediate availability. And only US26. Had been looking at some rides at US$150 which is a bit steep. But they were for smaller airboats. This is a 25 seater. Huge thing.
And powerful.
It’s brilliant.
Slow going through the access channels whilst you spot alligators, birds, turtles and fish.
But then.
The open water of the Everglades. It’s only a few inches deep in parts but the thrill of drifting sideways at speed is brilliant. The driver sits atop a chair that looks like a tennis umpire’s chair. Beneath which is the very loud engine which powers the air propeller behind.
Blows the cobwebs away that does!
Exhilarating.
Young lad driver tells us he can drive anything, planes, boats, trucks but can’t spell. He left school at 17 and has been working on the airboats ever since. This is his life now. Not been out of Florida.
Now for a 3-4hr drive to Key West. The final 90 mile drive down the keys takes 2.5hrs. It’s slow going. Had imagined that Key West was a quaint upmarket fishing village. Oh no. My senses are alerted as I drive down. It’s single carriageway most of the way through heavily developed and built up areas. Shops, restaurants and boat places line the main road with residential houses developed in the side roads of the various keys. It’s pretty much 90 miles of urban sprawl. Apart from the long bridges. And I do mean long.
The road is a few feet above the water level in places and wonder how they cope with storm surges and the like. Keep seeing signs for ‘Evacuation Route’ and ‘Shelter’. Sunday afternoon traffic slow going and for the first time am getting slightly bored of driving in the USA. There’s nothing really scenic about it. Just continuous urban development.
Not what I had anticipated at all and somewhat disappointed.
Was thinking that I could stay a day in Key West but after eventually arriving and having a quick drive around decide that there’s nothing really to interest me. Given that I’m not into heat, humidity, fishing, beaches or watersports. Would be OK if you were, I suppose. The edge of Key West is like any other American town, chain restaurants, shopping centres, car dealerships and the like. It’s only when you go into the old centre that you finally see some old clapboard, pastel coloured houses. After half an hour of driving around have decided I’ll not stop more than one night.
But before I find the hotel. The real reason for coming to Key West. It’s the southernmost point of continental USA. This is a trip within a trip. The main trip, as you know, is Antarctica to Alaska. But this side trip is from the southernmost point to one of the northernmost points of the USA, Prudhoe Bay. Even this late in the afternoon, there’s a queue for photos at the marker post but as am in need of a cold beer, can’t be bothered waiting so a quick snap in between posing tourists has to do.
Hotel Ocean’s Edge (https://www.oceansedgekeywest.com/) is just what you need after a long day’s drive.
Or so I thought.
Nice room with views of the sunset over the marina. Wander over to the open air restaurant overlooking the marina.
Order food from an Uzbekistani waiter.
By coincidence, sun sets, it gets dark, restaurant lights come on, excellent plate of fish is served. Quickly followed by a plague of flying insects. There’s a complete swarm over the whole restaurant where the bright table lights are. There’s flying insects landing in my food, in my beer, in my hair, on my clothes. It’s dreadful. Restaurant turn the lights down and put the lights on bright in the access walkway so most of the flying insects buzz off to the bright lights. There’s still a few flying around and in the gloom of my table have to pick flying insects out of the food that have landed and got stuck.
Having spent three months travelling through the jungles of South and Central America and only having three (unbelievably) mosquito bites, now find that I’ve got a dozen or so on my ankles, notwithstanding wearing socks, and one on my wrist. So what was meant to be a nice relaxing dinner has actually turned into me being the meal.
Fed up with heat, humidity and things that can bite, am now heading to the cooler climes of the north.
Touring Taurean’s natural habitat.
