Category Archives: Antarctica to Alaska

110. Live and Let Die

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Thursday, 11 April 2019

New Orleans, Louisiana, USA

 

Always wanted to visit New Orleans since watching Live and Let Die as a kid. It lives up to its reputation.

Catch the restored tram to Canal Street which trundles along the river front. Today is the start of the French Quarter Music Festival which we’ll visit later today.

Canal Street delineates the infamous French Quarter from the rest of New Orleans. Across the other side is the Warehouse District which is pretty tame and upmarket, full of advertising companies and architects. That sort of area. At the end of it is the American World War 2 Museum. How America saved the world. Interesting exhibition on the Pacific theatre which I don’t know too much about. The 4D film narrated by Tom Hanks is quite good. Not done a 4D film before. The chairs vibrate so you’re given a feel for what it’s like flying a bomber and riding in a tank, plus there’s smoke and lighting effects. Has given me some ideas for the theatre. Ask an old codger guide the way to an exhibit. After he’s explained the way, he tells me, “You look like me.” Don’t see the resemblance myself. I’m 50 years younger. In addition to the 4D film, there’s the USS Tang experience to do. The Tang was the most successful US submarine but it shot itself in the foot. Literally. After firing a torpedo towards a Japanese ship, the torpedo broached and curved left coming back in a circle and blowing up the submarine, from which it had been fired. The Tang experience is meant to give you an idea of what it was like to be in a submarine in battle. It’s dreadful and there’s no sense whatsoever.

A number of aircraft are hoisted in the air supported from wires, including a B17 Flying Fortress, under the name of ‘My Gal Sal’. I know you’re reading this, so thought of you.

Across the road is the Civil War Museum, set in the old 19th century Confederate Memorial Hall. You’ll be learning about the American Civil War next week, so won’t go into too much detail now. Suffice to say, Louisiana was part of the Confederate States of the Deep South who fought against the Unionists of the North, who opposed the expansion of slavery. Interesting artefacts until you remember that you have antiques at home older.

Now for the French Quarter. After a sedate morning. Be prepared. It’s a frenzy.

What an assault on the senses as you walk into Bourbon Street. It’s loud, brash, grungy, grimy and full of pissed up, drugged up people. Getting high myself as I walk along.

Bourbon Street is the famous street that runs down the middle of the French Quarter. Full of bars, a few strip joints, grungy looking restaurants and loud music.

Oh.

And voodoo stores.

Lots of voodoo stores.

Very Live and Let Die.

 Many of the bars have live music but quite amusing to see the unpopular bars completely empty of people but the band playing on to earn their money. There’s a real mix of people here and every other person seems to be drinking in the streets holding a plastic tube with a plastic hand grenade shaped base. This appears to be the local cocktail of choice. All the bars are selling hand grenade cocktails. Not that I want one, but nip into a kiosk that’s selling the stuff and ask what it is. Am given a taste. Wow. That’s alcoholic. And blue. No wonder people are staggering about. Ask if I can take her photo and she duly poses with two cups. Her ‘bar’ was obviously an alleyway between two buildings which has been converted. It’s that narrow.

The strange thing is that a few blocks away from the garish Bourbon Street, some of the streets are actually quite nice and upmarket with decent bars and restaurants alongside quiet residential streets. The contrast is startling and reminds me of the old town in Panama City.

The music festival is in full swing this afternoon and there are many sound stages dotted around the French Quarter and along the parks next to the mighty Mississippi river. A wide expanse of muddy river. Interesting to note that the river level is well above the level of the French Quarter. No wonder it causes so much damage when the levees breach. Great atmosphere at the various concerts but interesting to see that the audience is generally white and middle aged.

Walking up Frenchman Street, famed for its many bars, an argument breaks out between a middle aged white man and young black kid, who had been interrupting a conversation between white man and his friends. White man shouts angrily, “Excuse me, we are having a private conversation!” Black kid gets lippy.

Expecting guns to be drawn. Put a scurry on.

Retreat to the leafy suburbs of Marigny where the hotel is. A nice suburb with wooden houses, painted in a variety of pastel colours. Nice feel to it and far removed from the attitude of the French Quarter.

Forgot to mention in yesterday’s blog. Yet another freebie. Ordered a whisky Old Fashioned cocktail in the bar last night. Finish it and enquire as to which whisky it was, out of interest. Told it was actually Bourbon, so ask for the next one with Scotch whisky (as I had done the first time), as I don’t like Bourbon. Given the second one and told the first one with bourbon is on the house.

What?!

Really?!

America. Stop doing this.

109. Smokey and the Bandit

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Wednesday, 10 April 2019

New Orleans, Louisiana, USA

 

4hr drive to Avery Island. Flat, featureless and straight interstate most of the way. Cross the state line from Texas into Louisiana. Quite a few police cars after the state line by the roadside, reminding people of their presence.

It’s like a scene out of Smokey and the Bandit.

Starting to get a bit swampy now.

Turn off to Avery Island and drive along back roads. There are no winding country lanes here. Just straight roads. Houses dotted about built on stone piers a couple of feet high. Assume it’s to save the house from flooding. Many adverts for fresh crawfish (crayfish) and a few fields are flooded, they look like paddy fields, but see a small boat on one with a fisherman pulling cages out so assume it’s a crawfish farm.

Arrive Avery Island where there’s a toll booth (but free to enter). Big bloke sitting inside his kiosk like Jabba the Hutt gives me my ticket to pass through the barrier. Ticket is passed through my passenger window attached to a clothes peg. Clothes peg is attached to a long bean pole. He just slides the bean pole to me so he doesn’t have to move.

You’re probably thinking what the significance of Avery Island is.

Well.

For those that love Tabasco Sauce (me) you will note on the label that it’s made here.

Avery Island isn’t a real island, it’s more a raised bit of land about 50m elevation above the surrounding flat lands. Why? I hear you ask. Is it raised above the flat lands. Well, it sits atop an ancient salt dome. The salt from which is used in the process of sauce making. (and where was the first salt dome I visited on this A2A trip??)

Named after the Avery family that owned it in the 19th century, the young Miss Avery married Edmund McIlhenny, who had started growing Tabasco chillies and created a homemade sauce to pep up bland food, at the end of the American Civil War. He sold it to family and friends and was later approached by a businessman to expand the operation and agreed to sell 10,000 bottles of his sauce to a grocery distributor.

And from those humble beginnings, a bottle of Tabasco can always be found in my kitchen cupboard.

After the American Civil War, there was a surplus of small cologne bottles, so McIlhenny used them to bottle his sauce. To prevent contamination, he sealed the bottles with green wax. There’s a nod to that history even now, as they still remain small with a long neck and have a green label around the neck. Still learning on this blog aren’t you. There will be a quiz at the end of this trip. So stay awake.

They now grow tabasco chillies all around the world and they’re mashed with salt the day they’re picked. The mash is then transported to Avery Island where they strain the skin and seeds out and then mix it with vinegar. Sauce is then placed in white oak barrels, covered with a layer of salt to prevent contamination and stored for three years. Bottled and distributed in the processing plant in the factory, which you can see from the visitor walkways.

It’s like an episode of ‘Inside the Factory’ isn’t it. But without Greg Wallace.

The mixing vats are in a large hall and you can push a button to extract air from the hall. For someone that loves Tabasco (particularly liberal with it on pizzas and lasagne), it’s a wonderful warm, spicy smell. I love it. Unlike the old women that were standing next to me. They soon scarpered when they smelt the chillies.

Part of the self guided tour takes you to the barrel store and greenhouses for new chilli plants but am alarmed by a warning sign enroute to said warehouse.

It says, “Bear frequenting area – warning – do not feed or approach”.

Erm.

Thought bears didn’t like heat and humidity. Only thought they lived up in the Rockies.

Oh ‘eck.

Quick drive around the ‘Jungle Drive’. Am told I can walk but beware of the alligators.

Erm.

Again.

There’s a lot of wildlife that can kill down here.

Drive instead but only see small alligators lurking in the water. Plus some turtles.

2-3hr drive into New Orleans and have found a real little gem of a hotel. The Peter & Paul Hotel (https://hotelpeterandpaul.com/), in Marigny suburb, a few blocks from the French Quarter. A former school, church and convent recently refurbished and converted to a very nice place to stay. Also has an excellent restaurant.

Quite a find.

If you ever find yourself in New Orleans, worth a look.

108. Houston, we have a problem

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Tuesday, 9 April 2019

Kemah, Texas, USA

 

Have been looking forward to today for ages. Doing a tour of Johnson Space Centre.

Houston.

Not just any tour.

Oh no.

Just for you, dear reader, am taking you behind the scenes on the Level 9 VIP Tour.

‘Cos you’re worth it.

Obtain my VIP pass and bypass all the screaming schoolkids on their day trip. Thankfully, the VIP tour is limited to 12 people.

It’s an utterly brilliant day.

There’s a lot of history here. This is where the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo moon landings were all planned and trained for. Johnson Houston is NASA’s astronaut training facility and research and development, whilst Kennedy Space Centre in Cape Canaveral, Florida, is primarily used for rocket launches.

Houston obviously made famous during the Apollo 13 crisis when an oxygen tank exploded enroute to the moon, thus creating that memorable line from Commander Jim Lovell, “Houston, we have a problem.”

In the late 1950s/early 1960s, NASA developed the Mercury and Gemini programmes as a pre-cursor to the moon landings. Mercury developed a single man rocket which propelled the first American, Alan Shepherd, into space in May 1961. As you will see from the photo below, it’s a tiny rocket, especially as it stands next one of Saturn V rocket engines (of which there were 5), which actually propelled the Apollo missions to the moon. Staggering to see the rate of technical development in just a few years from that small Mercury rocket to the massive 110m long, 10m diameter, Saturn V rocket, housed in its own building.

It’s a WOW moment when you first see it. It’s like a skyscraper on its side.

Saturn V rocket is still the biggest rocket ever made in terms of being the tallest, heaviest and most powerful at 7,500,000lbs of thrust. Space X’s current rocket doesn’t produce as much thrust apparently.

Essentially built in 4 stages, the first stage (the big bulky bit at the bottom) burns for about 2.5mins to take the rocket up to 42miles and a speed of about 6,000mph. This is then jettisoned and the stage 2 booster takes the rocket up to about 109miles and 17,500mph in a 6min burn. This is then jettisoned and stage 3 takes the Command and Service Modules up to 24,500mph and lunar orbit. When in lunar orbit, the Command and Service Module detaches, connects to the Lunar Lander at the back of the stage 3 rocket, removes the Lunar Lander and jettisons the stage 3 rocket, in preparation for stage 4. Once ready to land on the moon, the Lunar Lander detaches and descends to the moon. The Eagle has landed, so to speak. After the moon landing, the lunar module ascends 60miles up and reconnects to the Command and Service Module. The Service Module is jettisoned once the astronauts are ready to enter the earth’s atmosphere in the Command Module.

Simple.

On top of the Saturn V rocket is another small rocket attached to the Command Module. This is the escape rocket. If the main Saturn V rockets malfunctioned and the crew needed to escape then the escape rocket fires and detaches the Command Module from the rest of the rocket to save the crew.

The radio signals from the first moon landing with Apollo 11 had to be transmitted to Australia and there was a glitch. Neil Armstrong did in fact say, “That’s one small step for a man…” but what was broadcast was, “That’s one small step for man…”, missing the ‘a’ out.

There’s lots of massive buildings on this complex and the next is the International Space Station full size mock up. Used to train astronauts on the inside details of the ISS. We’re taken on to the ‘shop floor’, so to speak, and peer in the modules and a Soyuz capsule which is tiny. You can see Tim Peake’s Soyuz capsule in the Science Museum in London. It’s tiny from the outside but when you poke your head inside it’s even smaller. No good if you suffer claustrophobia.

The whole of the ISS is laid out in the hall and at the other end are other projects being worked on and see NASA scientists busy at work, though sadly no astronauts are training today. The new Orion module is being developed. This will take humans to Mars. The current thinking is that they’ll have a new space station in lunar orbit, using the moon as a staging post, and using this new space station as a launch pad for missions to Mars. Fascinating insight.

Additionally, they’re developing robonauts to assist with Mars missions and one rig is set up to train a robotic astronaut to open a car door, take a bag out and put it in another place. Interesting to hear that they’re using human form robots as it’s easier to develop alongside humans, as they need to be able to do what humans can do and it’s not worth developing two different systems.

Whilst the ISS mock up facility in this hangar is for training on the inside of the ISS, the Neutral Buoyancy Lab a few miles away at the former Ellington Air Force Base is used to train astronauts on the outside of the ISS.

The Spacewalk.

Originally to achieve weightlessness, astronauts used to fly in the ‘vomit comet’, an aircraft in free fall. Told that the Russians achieved the same effect by putting their cosmonauts in a tall lift which was then left to free fall. Can you imagine?

It was Buzz Aldrin, who was a keen scuba diver, that suggested that diving would be a better environment and so they built this massive pool. I’m using the word ‘massive’ to describe many things but there’s a reason for that. Often overused in the UK by millennials, it really is an apt description of things I see. Within the pool is a full sized mock up of the ISS to enable astronauts to train for their spacewalks. This is obviously where Tim Peake trained for his, a couple of years ago.

During lunch in the staff canteen, ask my fellow Americans what they think of Trump. Am told, “We don’t talk about it in public.”

Oh. OK then.

She later catches up with me in private. There was another American they didn’t know at the table so they thought best to keep quiet. They don’t even talk about it at home as their daughter-in-law is Republican, they being Democrat, and it can be very divisive.

Know the feeling. Telling someone you’re a Brexiteer or a Remoaner back in the UK can lose acquaintances. Though not friends. My view is: each to their own. I’m happy to tell you my thoughts but expect respect for those thoughts, as I respect other points of view. Not like these leftie liberals that won’t let anyone have a point of view different to their own and go off in a fit of hysteria.

In the words of Ben Elton, “Ooh, a little bit of politics!”

I digress.

Am going to keep asking Americans what they think of Trump.

Anyway. Final stop is the Christopher Kraft Mission Control Centre. The building actually houses five separate control rooms. The control room used for the Apollo 11 moon landings is currently being refurbished in time for the 50th Anniversary in July of this year. Instead, we’re treated to the piece de resistance of the tour.

The International Space Station Mission Control room.

Enter the VIP gallery behind a glass partition. Another WOW moment. Live feeds from the ISS showing flying over earth at 17,500mph. By coincidence, it makes USA landfall as we’re there, flying over Seattle and then down towards Florida. It’s an amazing scene before me. One of my favourite films is ‘Wargames’, set during the height of the Cold War in 1983, starring Matthew Broderick. I know a number of you will be nodding your heads in agreement. The control room reminds me of the NORAD control room in the film. Another great control room you can visit is RAF Neatishead in Norfolk, UK. That was the UK’s nuclear missile tracking station in the 1980s. Worth a visit too.

The main display has planet Earth mapped out with the track of the ISS and 3 of the 12 communication satellites that are used to relay ISS data back to earth in 0.5seconds. Also displayed are the control rooms in Europe, Japan and Russia (I think she said). It’s fascinating just sitting there and watching the goings on. As someone with a passing interest in such things, have managed to photograph the ISS flying over the UK, so it’s interesting to see Mission Control.

Oh. OK. I’m like a kid at Christmas. I admit it.

This is exciting stuff.

Go on. Admit it. You’d love to be there too! I know a few of you would!

Another excellent dinner in a local diner in Kemah called T-Bone Tom’s. Something of a local institution. I mentioned ‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives’ TV programme in yesterday’s blog. Well this restaurant has actually featured in an episode of ‘Triple D’. The marinated brisket is to die for. So tasty. This is real comfort food.

Well.

Have to say.

That was an excellent and very memorable day.

I know I’m lucky but that was something special.

Enjoy the photos below. Hope this gives you your own tour by proxy.

107. Liquid chicken

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Monday, 8 April 2019

Kemah, Texas, USA

Driving from San Antonio to Houston on the interstate for 2-3hrs. Flat and featureless landscape. There is literally nothing in between for about 200miles.

Just think about that.

It’s like driving from Nottingham to Brighton.

With nothing in between.

Just think.

No Leicester or Luton.

Big signboards at every junction advertising lawyers, insurance and restaurants. Not the big signboards you get on British motorways. I mean really big, structural sort of towers with signboards. Massive they are. This is Texas remember.

Pass a tanker lorry. On the side it tells me its contents.

Liquid Chicken.

The last time I looked, chicken wasn’t liquid. The mind boggles at what it contains. Can only assume it’s disgusting.

Drive around the south western side of Houston to avoid the centre. Quite by chance, pass the HQ office building of a company I used to work for in Europe. One of my colleagues was based out of the Houston office. Impromptu visit to reception to see if he still works there but he’s not on the system so assume he’s retired.

Continue on to Galveston, about an hour away on the Gulf of Mexico coast. Actually an island and made famous by the song, which I always sing as “Gaviscom” (the indigestion medicine). It amuses me, anyway.

Think Blackpool. Yep. Don’t stay long. Quick drive through.

Head up the Gulf coast to the small village of Kemah.

You won’t have heard of it. Neither had I until searching for suitable hotels. But it’s a little gem of a place. Staying at the Holiday Inn (https://www.ihg.com/holidayinn/hotels/us/en/kemah/kemtx/hoteldetail) as it has rave reviews, which are lived up to, and has great views across the marina from my top floor room.

Some nice plush houses here, especially the beach front ones which each have their own piers jutting about 50m into the bay for their boats. The boardwalk has many restaurants and a small amusement park with wooden roller coaster (think Scooby Doo).

But I’m headed off to the highly recommended Crazy Alan’s Swamp Shack, by the marina. The sort of place you would see featured on ‘Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives’ on the Food Network. And if you haven’t watched it. Do so. You will salivate at what you see. Fatal to start watching it when you get back from the pub at midnight. Trust me.

Have to ask the waiter what Hush Puppies are. He says, “You’re not from round here are you?!”

Nope.

In England, Hush Puppies are a brand of shoe. Here they’re a dried corn mix hash brown type thing.

He recommends the fried alligator tail. But fancy something a little less swampy. Excellent pan fried jumbo shrimp (prawns). So fresh, succulent and melt in the mouth. Not like the rubbery stuff we get in the UK.

Ah yes.

This’ll do nicely.

106. Remember the Alamo!

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Sunday, 7 April 2019

San Antonio, Texas, USA

 

Quite a storm last night. Woken by the loud thunder, wind and rain lashing on the window. Still dreadful as I open the curtains so confined to hotel for the morning. Begins to clear by noon and wander out for lunch and order nachos and a Coke. Another bowl of nachos and dip come as a complimentary snack in advance of the main dish of nachos.

No wonder Americans are so obese.

San Antonio is famous for The Alamo.

I’d heard of it before but didn’t understand its significance. The only American history we did at school was 1918 to 1945. Really do need to understand more about the American Civil War and pre-World War 1.

Originally a Spanish missionary settlement, trying to convert the indigenous people into Catholicism (what else), the settlement was later abandoned in the late 18th century. Subsequently taken over by the Spanish Flying Company (not aircraft, more the Sweeney…Flying Squad) who were originally from a town in what is now Mexico, called San Jose y Santiago del Alamo, who converted it to a garrison and fort.

Which is how it became known as ‘The Alamo’.

During the Texian Revolution (not a typo!), a Mexican general surrendered the fort to the Texian Army in December 1835, who then had their own garrison located in the Alamo.

However, a few months later, in March 1836, those pesky Mexicans, under the command of General Santa Anna, attacked the fort killing about 200 Texian soldiers, including the famous Davy Crockett, William Travis and James Bowie (David’s great-great-great grandfather…I’m joking).

But.

A few weeks later, in April 1836, the Texian Army, swelled in its ranks by more volunteers who had taken great exception to a load of Mexicans killing their brethren, retaliated against the Mexicans and General Santa Anna at the Battle of San Jacinto. During the brief battle, it only lasted 18 minutes apparently, the Texians battle cry was, “Remember the Alamo!” as they killed a load of Mexicans. General Santa Anna escaped but was captured the following day and eventually signed the peace treaty which meant the Mexican Army left the region and thus led to the founding of the Republic of Texas.

You do learn stuff on this blog, don’t you!

The only two buildings remaining are the long store and the Spanish church, notable for the fact that the Spanish never completed it and was roofless for quite some time.

The Cathedral the other side of town has the ashes of Crocket, Travis and Bowie interred in a stone casket. So they say. No one seems sure. But it’s good for tourism.

Pizza for dinner. It’s OK but not the best pizza I’ve ever had and leave some of it as so full. Waiter asks if everything was OK. Nonchalantly say yeah it was OK but a bit undercooked. He’s sorry to hear that and will pass the feedback on to the chef.

Few minutes later, he brings the bill and tells me he’s deducted the pizza from the bill as it was undercooked. All I have to pay for is the beer I had.

What?!

Really?!

I’ve eaten most of it and only left a bit as too full.

Can you imagine that happening in Pizza Express?

Er no.

Best you’d get is, “Oh right” from a disenfranchised employee.

Loving this American service.

105. Tornado warning

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Saturday, 6 April 2019

San Antonio, Texas, USA

 

Grim day as I open the curtains. Dark grey cloud shrouding the tops of the Dallas buildings. Can’t see much.

Old man in lift says in a low gravelly Texan drawl to no one in particular, “Storm’s coming.”

Bloody ‘ell.

He’s not wrong.

Starts raining as soon as I drive out of the hotel garage. Starts as normal British rain. You know. Quite heavy.

But then turns into Texan rain. As I remarked in yesterday’s blog. Everything in Texas in big.

And that includes the rain drops.

Have never, ever driven in such atrocious conditions in all my life, anywhere in the world. It’s horrendous. At one point people have to pull over onto the hard shoulder you can hardly see what’s in front of you for rain. It’s just a sea of water pelting down on you. Only surprised it didn’t hail.

Having driven for 2hrs through extreme rain and constant lightning, pull over at a Starbuck’s outside of Waco for a pit stop. Order a coffee. Waitress quite taken with my English accent. She says in her slow Texan drawl, “You sound so sophisticated! Not like us.”

Yeah.

Well.

There’s a reason for that young lady. Ahem.

She also alarms me when handing over my change. There’s a tornado warning for the region.

Excellent. Just what I need.

Now we have ‘tornadoes’ in England. But the most damage they do is blow over wheelie bins and garden furniture. Having recently read an article on tornadoes in the USA, I know how devastating and deadly they can be.

Continue driving for another hour or so. Heavy, heavy rain is incessant and constant lightning continues with low, dark cloud. Am concentrating on road ahead, road behind, road to the sides of me and now looking for the start of a tornado funnel. Yeah. Great fun this driving trip. With the lightning it’s like driving with a strobe light constantly on. Like a scene out of Ghostbusters where it’s all kicking off with lightning and dark clouds.

In need of fuel but need a local’s assistance in the small matter of obtaining fuel from the pump. You have to pay first then fill up. But you have to guess an amount, and then fill up. If you need more fuel than you’ve said, you have to go back and pay again. If you need less fuel than you said, you have to go back and ensure it’s credited back to your credit card. Bit of a faff. Only US$30 to fill up with about 60 litres. Not like the UK!

Standing there filling up with fuel with lightning striking all around me. Back inside finish off paying when the petrol station gets hit by lightning which causes a short power cut. Hmmm. Near miss me thinks.

Really slow going on the interstate and visibility is down to a few metres in places. Raining so much and so hard that even with windscreen wipers on full speed they can’t cope.

Begins to ease thankfully as I turn off to have a look at the Circuit of the Americas. This is where the Formula 1 US Grand Prix is held and as I have an interest in such things assume there’s a museum to look at. There isn’t. In fact there’s nothing of interest.

But.

A few gates are open as they have a private track day. Sneak in and nip up into the grandstands followed by a quick drive around the perimeter through another slightly open gate that I’m not sure I’m meant to be going through. Quite surprising how high turn 1 is and there’s good views over the flat Texan countryside.

Continue to San Antonio. Thankfully seem to have driven through the worst of the storm and arrive in San Antonio as the sun begins to shine through the clouds. Have made it in one piece. That was quite an experience driving through a Texan storm. Never seen anything like it before. And thankful I didn’t get caught in a tornado.

Staying at the Holiday Inn Riverwalk (https://www.hiriverwalk.com/). San Antonio recommended to me by Mrs Cincinnati whilst we were travelling on the train in Ecuador. It has a narrow river flowing in a loop through the city centre. An evening stroll along the walkway is much needed and there’s plenty of restaurants to choose from. Quite a buzz and a good atmosphere with a few boats floating along the river giving tourists a guided tour.

Much better than Dallas, as was suggested by Mrs C. Thank you Mrs C! Good recommendation.

Have dinner in a fish restaurant overlooking the river. Order crab cake starter and fish main course. Crab cake arrives. It’s cold in the middle. Call waiter over and explain. Takes it away. Few minutes later manager arrives with new plate of hot crab cake, “Very sorry, Sir, we discovered the broiler had broken. I’ll take that off the bill. Here’s a new plate.”

Hang on.

You’ve given me a new hot crab cake, which is very tasty and which I’ve enjoyed eating, but you’re deducting it from the bill? Can’t imagine that happening in the UK. Can you?

Quite impressed with this American service.

104. Who shot JR?

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Friday, 5 April 2019

Dallas, Texas, USA

 

Urban sprawl soon gives way to plush housing ‘estates’ on the north side of Dallas as I drive towards Murphy and Parker.

Why, you might wonder, would I be doing that?

Well, dear reader, located between the two is a very well known ranch. That you may have heard of.

Southfork.

Yep.

The house where they filmed THE television soap of the 1970s/80s still stands. That famous TV show is, of course…

DALLAS

Started in 1978 and ran on into the very late 1980s before a re-booted version with many of the old cast started in the 2010s.

Actually quite excited about visiting as it played such a large part of my childhood. Can still remember various scenes and episodes even now. This was prime time viewing for half the nation with the famous ‘Who shot JR?’ episode in 1980 (yes, that long ago!) still being one of the most watched TV programmes in the world.

But can you remember who did indeed shoot JR?

Welcome given by a true Texan. Big and wearing a Texan hat. Southfork continues to be a working ranch and has a number of longhorn cattle and also a stud farm. Texan guide starts off by saying, “We have Longhorn Cattle. So called, ‘cos they got horns and they’re long.”

The first few episodes were actually filmed at another ranch a few miles away but the owners soon realised how disruptive filming would be and so cancelled the filming at their ranch. The location scouts then found Southfork but the then owners didn’t want to allow filming as they had a young family to raise. A week later, the location scouts returned and, as they say, money talks. There were two conditions. Firstly, they could only film outdoors and secondly only in June, July and August.

It gets hot in the summer and during the first week of filming the women’s stilettos actually got stuck in the tarmac.

It only became a popular tourist spot when an advert for Dallas was played during the interval of the Superbowl one year and the commentator inadvertently told millions of viewers the address of Southfork. The next day was bedlam, apparently, and tourists flocked to this then private house taking photos from afar with some cheeky ones taking photos through the windows whilst the family were at home.

It’s now owned by a businessman with the sole purpose of marketing it as a ‘Dallas’ tourist attraction and no one now lives in the house.

The interior is nothing like the TV set. The set was apparently modelled on another house near the centre of Dallas. However, it’s been kept in the 1970s/80s by the original fixtures and fittings, in the bathrooms in particular, and kitted out with Dallas memorabilia. The lounge has a copy of a painting of Jock Ewing hanging over the mantelpiece along with JR Ewing’s bar with his own branded bourbon on sale (which you can obviously buy in the gift shop).

Lucy and Bobby’s bedrooms are on the ground floor as is the Mexican hotel room where JR was shot again in the rebooted series a few years ago (to frame Cliff Barnes). They actually filmed the Mexican hotel scenes in Southfork and one of the corridors has been painted to look all grimy with hotel room numbers on the doors.

Upstairs is one single bedroom suite with a large bathroom, still in 1970s décor. Lovely. This is JR and Sue Ellen’s room and their large portraits hang on the wall.

The first floor balcony looks out over the swimming pool where they all used to congregate. The swimming pool was made to look bigger by placing a mirror at one end.

Tell the guide that I’m reliving my childhood. “Oh that’s what everyone says!”, she says chuckling.

The outdoor glass table where they all had breakfast is still there and am told that James Martin, the British TV chef, came and cooked here on his tour. Ladies of Britain, you will be pleased to hear that he was very nice.

Outside of the house is the banqueting hall where the Oil Baron’s Ball was held, Jock Ewing’s Lincoln Continental car, at 19ft long it was actually owned by the actor who played Jock. The Ewing family headstones are set under a tree and fenced off. Jock, Miss Ellie, and JR Ewing and it’s a moment before I remember that these aren’t real graves with bodies. It’s just a TV prop!

Across the garden in the Ewing’s office and Elena’s cottage from the reboot series, exactly as it was during the TV show as it was actually used for filming the internal scenes.

Thought this was only going to be a quick 45min tour but find that I’ve been there about 3hrs. Have to hotfoot it over to Fort Worth to see the longhorn cattle drive at 1600hrs. Yep. A 60mile trip along the interstate in Friday rush hour traffic. Keen. That’s me. It’s like thinking at 1500hrs on a Friday afternoon in Nottingham, yep, must go visit Birmingham city centre for an hour right now. You just wouldn’t do it. But I do. Just to show you something else, dear reader.

Only just make it and I can confirm that I did have to run a few hundred metres. Don’t do running. Recovered now though. So don’t worry.

The Fort Worth Stockyards is a hotchpotch of things. Think of it as a recreation of 19th century Main Street USA with a load of tourist restaurants and attractions. The longhorn cattle are ‘driven’ along Main Street by cowboys for no other reason than it’s a tourist attraction. A large building dating back to 1908 is the Coliseum. It’s a rodeo stadium. Think of the old 1930s Nottingham Ice Stadium and you’ll get the picture. Except, instead of ice, there’s a deep sand filled ring.

Manage to sneak in following an old codger going through a door that says, ‘No entry – Employees Only’. No one stops me. Inside, below the rodeo ring, there’s obviously a private function with buffet and beer on offer. All the men are wearing big Texan hats and all the walls are covered in the Rodeo Hall of Fame photographs dating back decades. Fascinating insight.

Inside the stadium is a massive old fashioned spotlight which still appears to be in use. It’s actually a ‘Super Trouper’ branded follow spot. Might have started humming the ABBA song as I had a nosey about.

At the back of the rodeo stadium is yet another massive building. This is apparently the world’s largest honky tonk.

I know what you’re thinking.

What’s a honky tonk.

Well.

It’s simply a bar that plays live country music.

Not only that but inside the world’s largest honky tonk is the world’s largest belt buckle. It’s about 2m-ish high and 3m wide. Quite who could wear such a thing, I know not.

But this is Texas.

As I’m discovering. Everything is big in Texas. Food portions. Cars. Buildings.

At dinner last night the waiter said that they have large, extra large and Texas large.

103. Who shot JFK?

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Thursday, 4 April 2019

Dallas, Texas, USA

 

For the first time in months, not woken by the early morning racket of various wildlife outside my room.

No.

Instead, it’s a Puerto Rican maid banging on the room next door shrieking “Housekeeping!”. Obviously oblivious to my ‘Ssssshhhh….enjoying a rest’ sign on my door.

Regular readers will know of previous experiences at local post offices thus far. Having accumulated 28 postcards since Buenos Aires, the time is nigh to make another attempt. Wander into the main post office in Dallas. Greeted by a delightful counter assistant. She has stamps. They’re cheap as chips. She’s very helpful. All done in a matter of minutes. Some lucky people should receive them soon. One lucky girl even has eight postcards being sent.

Wandering around downtown Dallas is a bit dull. There’s not a lot to see or do. Which reminds of that joke, “What’s the difference between a pot of yoghurt and Dallas?”.

A pot of yoghurt’s got culture.

It’s surprisingly devoid of many people. There’s no hustle and bustle. There’s hardly any traffic. There don’t appear to be that many shops. Is this because everything is now on the outskirts in malls?

Wander over to the Perot Science and Engineering Museum for lunch and a quick look. There’s an exhibition to do with ‘The art of the brick’. Assumed it was bricks as used in construction. But it’s not. It’s Lego. An artist has recreated famous artworks using Lego. It passes a few minutes of my time.

Not technical Lego though. You can’t go wrong with technical Lego. My young nephew was given a technical Lego set for Christmas a few years ago. I obviously had to help him. He was a bit miffed that I completed it without much input from him though.

Walk through deserted side streets to the Dallas Book Depository 6th Floor Museum. Those of a certain age will no doubt remember exactly where they were when they heard of JFK’s assassination.

22 November 1963.

1230hrs.

The Dallas visit was intended to shore up support for the Democrats as Vice President Lyndon B Johnson was Senator for Texas. JFK insisted on travelling in an open topped car but in those days, it wasn’t protocol to have armed guards on the rooftops along the route. Photos show the motorcade driving down Main Street with crowds either side within touching distance of the President.

Can you imagine that now?

At the end of Main Street, the motorcade turns right onto South Houston Street for a few hundred metres before turning left to go down the slight hill of Elm Street. It’s at this point, Lee Harvey Oswald makes his first shot and a few seconds later the fatal shot, at which point many of you may recall the reaction of Jackie Kennedy, JFK himself and the Secret Service agent travelling in the car behind running up to the boot of the President’s car and scrambling on.

The museum has cordoned off the corner area of the 6th floor from where Lee Harvey Oswald assassinated JFK, including a mock up of the boxes that were used to hide the area from fellow workers.

But you can get a feel for his line of sight from an adjacent window.

I’m no assassin (only a ‘smiling assassin’ on site, so I am told) but if it were me, I’d take the shot when JFK was approaching me on South Houston Street, so I’d have more body mass to aim at. He was shot as he was travelling away, with only the back of his head and shoulders visible.

It’s a fascinating museum which also highlights the possibility of a second shooter on the ‘grassy knoll’. Indeed, the second government reported actually said that there was a second shooter but in a later investigation this was again amended and returned to the original finding of one shooter in the Book Depository.

Lee Harvey Oswald.

Later captured 7hrs later after shooting dead a police officer near Oswald’s home, Lee Harvey Oswald was then himself shot dead by local gangster and thug, Jack Ruby, two days later on the Sunday morning as he was being transferred to jail.

Of course, in those days, photographs and film capturing the assassination are few and far between and grainy and poor quality. Not like today’s high definition cameras on mobile phones.

Outside, the grassy knoll is just in front of the Book Depository and surprisingly close to the motorcade. For some reason, I’d always thought the grassy knoll was on the other side of the road and much further away.

Eyewitnesses and photographs show people and police reacting to something on the grassy knoll at the moment of assassination. Reports say that people heard a shot from the grassy knoll but this could be a reverberation of sound from the Book Depository.

Either way, a couple of old blokes are doing a roaring trade setting up stalls on the grassy knoll selling their DVDs of their own investigations and interviews. They seem to be convinced that there was a second shooter and highlight that a number of witnesses they interviewed were never interviewed by the authorities.

A couple of white crosses in the middle of the road show where the first and final fatal shot hit.

Very interesting museum.

102. La la la la la America

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Wednesday, 3 April 2019

Dalla, Texas, USA

 

Still have manflu. In case you hadn’t sent your TLC.

And many of you haven’t.

Sniff.

Can’t go through airport security at Chihuahua. As the immigration officer hasn’t turned up yet. Have to wait half an hour before he gets out of bed.

Bags x-rayed. They need to do a search. They’re looking for a syringe. Don’t have a syringe.

Asked if I have a syringe.

Tell them no.

Oh. OK, then. Thanks. Off you go.

Obviously look trustworthy.

Expecting a secondary bag search at the gate as flying to the USA.

But no. Nothing. Which surprises given the opportunity for drug smuggling.

Quick 2hr flight over the border. Can tell we’re flying over Texas by the vast swathe of oil fields. Quite a site. The land is riddled with sandy coloured access roads to sandy coloured well pads. Looks like a printed circuit board.

Arrive Dallas.

Wahoo.

At last.

La la la la la America.

Expecting long queues to get through immigration but through in 30mins. Even have to ask for my passport to be stamped as they don’t do that any more. Apparently.

Pick up hire car. After a lot of faffing, find a car that is suitable. Am sold an upgrade to a Range Rover Sport. A car I know I can fit in. But it’s the smaller Velar he’s trying to persuade me is the same group. Think not sunshine. Eventually revert back to the group I actually hired and on my way.

Arrive at the Omni Dallas Hotel (https://www.omnihotels.com/hotels/dallas) and checked in by a young black kid who insists on doing a fist bump as he hands over my room key card.

Never done a fist bump before.

Bloody millennials.

Now this is a spot of luxury. At last. No more wildlife in my room like lizards and mollygrobbles.

Big picture window in my 18th floor room overlooks downtown and the surrounding countryside. Remarkable how flat it is and reminds me of the flat lands of Winnipeg in Manitoba.

Well, dear reader, may have had a much needed curry, a few beers and Drambuies to celebrate making it this far.

The hard part is over.

Now for some fun!

And here’s the thing.

Have nothing planned. Have no idea where I’m going.

Playing it by ear day to day.

Life is for living.

SO..where would you like me to go and visit? This is your chance to really travel by proxy and tell me where to go. Somewhere you’d like to go and see but can’t.

101. Chee-hewer-hewer

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Tuesday, 2 April 2019

Chihuahua, Mexico

 

Manflu has set in. Cold night again. If you want to send me virtual TLC, please feel free to do so.

Train from Posada Barrancas to Chihuahua is due to depart 1345hrs and arrive at 2130hrs. Nearly 8hrs train journey. Leisurely morning on balcony admiring the view and catching up on diary before checking out at noon. Transfer to the station is scheduled for 1315hrs. No idea why as it’s a 2mins drive away.

Quick lunch and have arranged a packed lunch to take away which I’ll have as dinner on the train. Cold, congealed, toasted cheese sandwich and a pack of crisps to look forward to. Yay. It’s a giddy existence this travel malarkey.

It’s only at 1300hrs that word starts to spread that the train is running 2hrs late from Los Mochis.

Which means arriving Chihuahua gone 2330hrs. Going to be a long day. Some other ladies going to Creel an hour away decide to take a taxi.

Which gets me thinking.

Enquire about a taxi to Chihuahua. A 4hr drive.

Gulp.

£280.

Gulp.

Guide has a mate who will do it for £230.

Still gulp.

Really don’t want to be arriving at hotel in Chihuahua near midnight especially as have to be up early for flight to USA tomorrow.

Take the hit. Can be in Chihuahua by 1800hrs if we leave now.

Driver turns up 10mins later and off we go.

The second most expensive taxi journey I’ve had.

The most expensive was from Harwich ferry terminal to Birmingham airport in 2010 when flights were cancelled due to snow. Working in Frankfurt at the time and we all had to get home for Christmas. Journey home entailed many hours on delayed trains from Frankfurt to Rotterdam, then Hook van Holland, overnight ferry to Harwich, taxi to Birmingham airport to pick our cars up, then a drive home. 36hrs travelling. A couple of colleagues will be reading this, nodding their heads and smiling at the memories.

Twisty mountain roads which generally follow the route of the railway line give way to straight roads on big flat plains. Make good progress.

Pass through the apple growing area. Thousands of acres given over to orchards. From what driver says, understand it to be Golden Delicious apples they grow.

Arrive Chihuahua at 1800hrs. Best decision. Really couldn’t be doing with a delayed rail journey today. Have got the bit between my teeth now.

Ready for USA.

Plenty of big houses as we drive into Chihuahua. There’s lot of money here from the cattle business and the many ranches.

Back in the late 1980s I used to work behind the bar in the village pub (and I know one of my fellow barmaids is reading this). There used to be a quiz night and the landlord was not the sharpest tool in the box. One of the questions he asked, in his broad South Yorkshire accent, was, “What is a chee-hewer-hewer?”. Obviously, he meant chihuahua. We still laugh about it to this day. And I hope Miss T is laughing too?

Check in to Hotel San Felipe El Real (http://hotelsanfelipeelreal.com/hotel/the-hotel/), a very small hotel. Greeted by the night porter who speaks no English and has a passing resemblance to Sloth out of The Goonies (Google it). As it’s quite cold, and still I have manflu, ask if there’s any heating. He goes and gets some matches to light the gas fire in the room. Fire looks like something out of Del Boy Trotter’s flat in the 1980s.

Erm.

Thinking I don’t want to die of carbon monoxide poisoning tonight, forego heat and ask for more blankets instead.

I know what you’re all thinking.

Wuss.

Manflu remember.

Driver pointed out a top notch restaurant on the way in so head for that for dinner. It’s in the former home of Din Luis Terrazas, a 19th century rancher and businessman who owned most of Chihuahua way back when.

Wow. What an interior.

As it’s the final night in Mexico, and, more importantly, is the end of the Central America sector of this trip, and as I haven’t spent enough money today, enjoy one of the finest filet steaks I’ve had. And obviously, one needs a glass or two of fine red wine with a fine filet steak. Doesn’t one.

Beats a congealed cheese sandwich on a delayed train.

Well. That’s that.

Central America. Tick.

Can’t quite believe I’ve made it this far without any mishap. Central America has surprised. Felt very safe. Interesting things to see and do.

El Salvador was the highlight. Go see.

My only regret.

Not seeing any dead bodies by the roadside.

Was expecting them to be littered all over the place given what I’d read.