Category Archives: North Korea

NK 16. You want sexy girl?

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Sunday, 23 April 2017

Beijing, China

Leisurely day trip to the Great Wall of China at Mutianyu. When I worked here in 1996, managed to grab a day trip to the wall at Badaling. Back then hired a car and driver for the day for about 2p. Substantially more now. Capitalist lot. Back then the car was a clapped out banger that barely made it there and back. Now it’s a modern taxi. With seatbelts. And air-conditioning and radio. Back then driver stopped off at a grotty unhygienic shack for his lunch whilst I ate a cheese sandwich from the breakfast buffet and a Snickers. Now I eat a cheese sandwich from the breakfast buffet and a Snickers. The more life changes. The more it stays the same. Back then the driver spoke no English and there were no mobile phones. Now the driver speaks a little English and has two smartphones. He’s communicating with his mate by recording WhatsApp voice messages. Wish he’d concentrate on driving. Back then it was bitterly cold, proper sub zero temperatures of around minus 10C. Now it’s a beautiful Spring day, blue sky and warm.

Chairlift up to the Great Wall section at Tower 6 for a walk to Tower 7 and back again and then descend by a metal toboggan run. The Great Wall has become a theme park.

Great Wall snakes along the mountainous terrain with watch towers every few hundred metres. Wall is very steep in places and about 10ft wide. Built over a number of centuries by various dynasties but the most well known sections were generally built around the 15th and 16th centuries. It’s about 13,000 miles long.

Fly back tomorrow on Lufthansa into Frankfurt and then back home. I’ll be sipping champagne, eating caviar and enjoying a fillet steak with a nice glass or two of red. This time tomorrow. In my First Class Suite. Oh yes. Looing forward to that.

Final night in the hotel.

Having had dinner, walk back to the lift to go to my room. As I walk across the lobby see a beautiful young Chinese girl talking on her phone.

She waves to me as though she recognises me. Can only assume it’s a member of the hotel reception team I’ve met at check in. Or some such thing.

Smile back not sure who she is.

She follows me into the lift.

I’m suspicious.

Let her choose her floor first and she goes to a public accessible floor. Bedroom floors requiring a key card.

Lift doors shut.

There’s just me and her.

She turns to me and says:

“You want sex massage…I call girl for you?” As she waves her mobile at me.

ER NO!

And with that she gets out at next floor saying:

“You’re a very big boy!”

 

Good night, dear reader, there endeth the North Korea blog. I hope it’s kept you mildly entertained and given you something else to read about other than coronavirus.

NK 15. Anything to declare?

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Saturday, 22 April 2017

Beijing, China

0500hrs alarm for an early check out for the airport run. Hotel needs to check our rooms to ensure we haven’t stolen anything. Two in our group have twice been accused of stealing towels in two hotels when in actual fact the hotel hadn’t put towels there in the first place.

Bought a copy of the Pyongyang Times newspaper last night along with a watercolour painting in the hotel souvenir shop. What a palaver. The watercolour painting is rolled up in a tube. Suggest that she roll up the Pyongyang Times together with it to make it easier to pack. She replies, “It’s not allowed!” She has to roll up the Pyongyang Times separately, and carefully, in its own wrapping. Can’t be folded up.

The reason.

Dear reader.

Is this.

The front page has a photo of Kim Jong-Un. It is forbidden in the DPRK to fold a newspaper as that may cause a crease across Kim.

I.

Kid.

You.

Not.

Dear.

Reader.

It’s disrespectful.

Sunrise as we drive through deserted streets and wide boulevards and along the river road. Locals doing early morning exercises on the paths facing the sun. A sort of tai chi exercise. A long line of locals lined up along the river path silhouetted against the rising sun. The start of another beautiful day in the DPRK.

Each apartment balcony seems to have many flower pots with colourful flowers. Even at this early hour see locals planting grass or weeding grass verges and watering with a plastic bottle which has had holes cut in to act like a sprinkler. Make do and mend.

Arrive at the brand new airport terminal building which the DPRK should be rightly proud of. All gleaming and new. Our group are the only passengers in it.

Fill in the customs declaration and exit card. Getting ready for a right old hoo-ha trying to get out of the country. Fond farewells to our guides who have been fantastic, fun and friendly. Probably the best two tour guides I’ve had on a tour. Have been asked not to name them. So won’t.

Check in opens. Bag is x-rayed just behind the check in desk. Remember my USB flash drive with all my photos backed up is hidden in suitcase.

Heart sinks when suitcase pings up something on x-ray. Security man has found something he wants to investigate. Clucking bell. Do not want my photos of this memorable trip confiscating.

He shows me an item on the x-ray that has aroused suspicion. He’s young, very friendly and amiable and speaks good English. Not even I know what it is. Don’t think it’s the USB flash drive as I thought that was in another part of the case. He and I both have a rummage inside my suitcase trying to find the small rectangular metallic object. For the life of us, neither of us can find the object. Practically empty my belongings in the search for a small metallic object. After a lot more rummaging it’s clear it’s not in the main body of the suitcase. I only find the object by accidentally touching the lining of the outer pocket.

You’ll never guess what it was.

A metal miniature Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Ah ha. So that’s where it went!

Bought it a few weeks prior to my DPRK trip when in Florence and Pisa. Had completely forgotten about it. Pack suitcase and it’s finally put on the baggage handling conveyor. Complete with my USB flash drive. Relieved to watch it disappear. At least I’ve got a complete set of all my photographs out of the country.

Having faffed about with suitcase x-ray at check in I’m now last through hand luggage x-ray and body scanner. Have a long list of kit on my customs declaration form so anticipating a full interrogation of each electronic item to ensure nothing untoward is being taken out of the country. Preparing for the worst, you can imagine my surprise and delight when security just takes my customs declaration form and waves me through. WHAT?!?! No interrogation?!?! Oh come on guys. Just give me a little bit of a hard time so I can get that authentic totalitarian state experience. I’ve had more grief at Birmingham airport trying to get a jar of Marmite through security (still miffed about the loss of a jar of Marmite, dear reader, oh yes, still miffed). But no. It’s all very friendly and laid back. Not at all like it’s made out in the western media. A few months after returning to the UK a newspaper published some crappy photos of street life in the DPRK and remarked that they were ‘secret’ photos that had to be ‘smuggled’ out. Cobblers. Nothing like that at all. I’ve got more ‘risqué’ photos of life in the DPRK than those published. I’ve got photos of missiles and tanks and military and bridges and tunnels. Don’t believe everything you read in the press, dear reader.

Having already gone through the body scanner am asked to stand on a small step so the petite young female guard can waft her magic wand over me (that’s not a euphemism, dear reader). Towering much more over her now I’m on a step, drop my knees about a foot to try and come down to her level to make it easier for her. Her male colleagues crack up laughing. She’s giggling too at my antics and tells me it’s OK to stand properly albeit that she can’t now reach my shoulders.

Air Koryo flight takes off in good time and soon land in Beijing though could do without the 1hr queue through immigration on arrival.

Check in to the Hilton Hotel (https://www.hilton.com/en/hotels/bjscahi-hilton-beijing-capital-airport/). Have enjoyed the DPRK immensely but it is nice to get back to civilisation. And a phone signal. And internet connection. And contact with the outside world.

First thing is to check voicemails. Have had no phone signal for over a week. There’s a number of voicemails including one from Mum and two from Dad.

Dad never rings.

There must be something wrong at home.

Dad sounds panicked.

Dad doesn’t panic.

They both say they’re returning my voice message where I ask them to ring me back.

This was a voice message I left when I was at home a week or so before I left for the DPRK.

They’ve just discovered the voice message on the answerphone the past few days. They think it’s me ringing from the DPRK. They think it’s me ringing to say goodbye. I’m a human shield now.

A colleague has left a voicemail. The sort of colleague who doesn’t come across as caring and giving a toss about my welfare.

He sounds panicked.

Return their calls. It all becomes clear.

Remember, dear reader, we have had no contact with the outside world apart from the odd snippet on Al-Jazeera when in Pyongyang. We do not know what has been happening in the big wide world. Unbeknownst to us, it’s apparently all been kicking off whilst we’ve been away and the western media have been seemingly blowing things out of all proportion and that we’re heading for nuclear war with the DPRK.

Whilst little old me is on holiday in the DPRK.

Even old (as in longevity) friend’s mother was apparently concerned for my welfare.

NK 14. The Spice Girls

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Friday, 21 April 2017

Pyongyang, North Korea

Quick waltz around the ski resort after breakfast. Patches of snow on the ski slopes still and chairs move slowly on the chair lift. Not sure why. We appear to be the only guests in the hotel. Hotel workers outside are wearing white fur hats to channel that Alpine look. Forbidden from taking photos though.

4hr drive back to Pyongyang back the way we came along the Bucking Bronco road but this time treated to stunning views as it’s a bright blue sky day rather than the rain storm we had coming.

Everyone is working the fields. See the odd tractor but mainly ox and plough which seems slow progress. Very mountainous region at first but soon opens out to a very wide valley with mountains either side. Less paddy fields and more soil based crops. Mobile loudspeakers atop a van play music to the farmers working their fields. For the cause.

Stop again at the Sinphyong Tea House about half way to Pyongyang. This time the reservoir is full so no locals scraping lake bed mud for fertiliser. The waitresses are undergoing staff training. Makes you wonder why. It’s not a busy road. It’s not a busy rest stop. There are no customers. Apart from us. Wearing high heels and bright red uniforms looks out of place in this place.

Told that state run farms account for 10% of the land whilst co-operative farms have 90% of the land. State farmers are paid as you would be in a factory and the state farms are generally mechanised (with ancient tractors). Co-operative farms are more manual work with ox and plough. Farmers work ten days then go to market to sell their wares. Income from which is put back into the co-op.

Also told that we are not allowed to ask questions about the Kims and that the DPRK has a right to defend itself and it is not for the USA to tell anyone that they can’t have nuclear missiles. The missile technology partly comes from Russia but is generally developed by DPRK scientists.

Approaching the outskirts of Pyongyang there’s a brief stop at the Monument to the Three Point Charter for National Reunification. A massive archway over the motorway topped by two female figures, their long flowing dresses forming the arches. South Korea is due to hold a general election soon and the liberal candidate wants to hold meaningful talks with the DPRK regarding reunifying the peninsula. Only time will tell.

Lunch in Pyongyang is fun and excruciating at the same time. Given a ‘concert’ by the local Spice Girls. Dressed in various costumes and doing a song and dance routine. They’re taking this seriously. Quite high pitched. I had to experience it dear reader. And so must you! See video below.

Having been to Moscow and marvelling at the underground stations I had an idea of what to expect in the Pyongyang Metro. Descending on a 150m long escalator find a cavernous station with ornate chandeliers. For some inexplicable reason, we are allowed to take photos of the trains and platforms but not the tunnels. As you will see, dear reader, I take a photo of a tunnel. Though not without some grumbling from the female platform attendant who is not liking my antics and a very nervous guide. But. I get the long exposure photo I want. But instructed to show the platform attendant the photo to make sure she’s happy that it doesn’t break the rules. Fortunately she is happy. Taurean charm you see.

All stations have an interactive map on the wall. You push a button of your destination and it illuminates the route. Board a train for the four stops to the Triumphant Arch. A crowded carriage and a few locals, including an old man and women, vacate their seats for the women in our group. Can you imagine that happening on the London Underground?! Quite.

At the designated stop we alight and it’s quite clear that as I jump off the train the natives are not expecting a 6’5” giant to appear from the carriage. Startled is one word I would use to describe their manner.

As we exit the station notice yet again a male and female milling around by the doors dressed in black. They look out of place and assume they’re State Security. Keeping an eye on us.

The Triumphant Arch has the date of 1925 inscribed in the stonework. The year when Kim Il-Sung left Korea vowing to gain independence. At 60m high there’s fortunately a lift inside to take us to a large high ceilinged hall which, in effect, straddles the sides and forms the top of the arch. Once outside on the viewing balcony at the 45m level we have amazing views across Pyongyang. Realise how colourful Pyongyang is with all the brightly painted buildings.

Down below us is the Kim Il-Sung Stadium with a capacity of 100,000 people. Its tarmac car park has tennis courts marked out. A couple of minivans with loudspeakers on the roof play music whilst people play tennis. There’s an obsession with loudspeakers playing music. For the cause.

Pass the Juche Tower, a 150m high tower with a 20m, 45 tonne, metal red flame atop, illuminated at night as a beacon across the city. Built in 1982 to celebrate the 70th birthday of Kim Il-Sung there’s apparently a stone for each day of his life. Now, dear reader, you’re probably wondering what ‘Juche’ means. It underpins the whole philosophy of life in the DPRK. At a very high level and in a nutshell…that of self sufficiency. It being two syllables ‘Ju’ meaning ‘master’ and ‘che’ meaning ‘one’s self’. It also extends to DPRK time as they use the Juche calendar. Juche time is counted from the Gregorian year 1912, the year of birth of Kim Il-Sung. So in 2017, it’s Juche 105.

Return to the Yanggakdo Hotel (www.north-korea-travel.com/yanggakdo-hotel.html) for a third and final time. Again, all in the same room as on the previous two occasions. Rather hoping that no one else has been using my room. The soap I was using from a few days ago is still in the soap dish. Quite attached to ‘my’ room. It has its little quirks. The bedside cabinet with a built in radio alarm clock that doesn’t appear to work but which has a lot of seemingly unnecessary cables for a radio alarm clock coming out the back. There are rumours that this hotel is bugged and that there’s a central communication room monitoring people on the infamous ‘hidden’ 5th floor. Just a rumour. But. You know. You’ll be Googling that now, won’t you dear reader.

Final night of the trip. Celebratory dinner to finish the tour off. Walk down Scientist Street to the restaurant. Scientist Street is lined with what appear to be superficially modern, brightly coloured new apartment blocks and offices in an assortment of interesting designs and architecture. So called as the ‘street’, well it’s a wide boulevard really, provides housing for the intelligent workers like scientists and teachers.

During the final night’s frivolity which included downing bottles of 25% proof rice wine (the noise level increased substantially as the wine level in the bottle went down) a few wise words from our guides. Delete any photos of military or we may get stopped at the airport in the morning. The authorities may either delete a particular photo or delete all images on the camera card. Depends how they feel.

So, dear reader, it’s a late night backing up photos on various sources in an attempt to get them all out of the country. Have read the horror stories. I’m not taking any chances.

Set 1. Laptop has all photos in an easy to find directory. The sacrificial lamb. In case it all goes Pete Tong.

Set 2. Laptop has a further directory hidden in the depths of various file paths with all photos copied there. You’d have to make a concerted effort to find them.

Set 3. SLR camera has all photos on the DCIM part of the memory card. The easy to find part of the memory card visible in the camera images preview. Sacrificial lamb number two.

Set 4. SLR camera has all photos copied on the USB data part of the memory card. The hidden part of the memory card that doesn’t show in the camera images preview.

Set 5. Compact camera has all photos on the DCIM part of the memory card. The easy to find part of the memory card visible in the camera images preview. Sacrificial lamb number three.

Set 6. Compact camera has all photos copied on the USB data part of the memory card. The hidden part of the memory card that doesn’t show in the camera images preview.

Set 7. A small USB flash drive with all photos backed up hidden in my suitcase.

Set 8. Mobile phone camera has its photos backed up.

So.

Think I’ve covered all bases.

NK 13. Snow and skis

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Thursday, 20 April 2017

Masikyrong, North Korea

Guide checks all our rooms before we depart to ensure we haven’t left anything incriminating. Only seems to be doing it here. Suspect it’s because of our location close to the border with South Korea. Ten miles away.

It’s to be a 3hr morning walk up the valley to the Kuryong Waterfalls. Beautiful scenery and how I imagine Yosemite Park, in California, would be like. Smooth stone cliff faces and pine trees. Cross a number of bridges over the crystal clear river below. Raging torrent it is not. Bit of a dribble in places. Having huffed and puffed all the way there, the path culminates in an observation pagoda overlooking the waterfalls. Falls quite impressive. A further walk to the very top of falls to see the Fairy Pools is possible but soon give up on that idea when I meet people coming down who have also given up as it’s so steep. The brave and young make it though and record that it was worth the hike.

Very peaceful as I walk back down the valley on my own. Until. A gaggle of girls appear. All dressed in green uniforms. It’s the Youth Section of the Party. On a day out. Wave to say hello and all wave back saying hello. Very friendly.

And again with the second and third group of girls. Wave and say hello. All wave back. All very friendly.

This continues the theme that everyone we have met in the DPRK is very friendly. Not at all how it’s portrayed in the western media.

Interesting lunch in the Mokran Restaurant back at the start of the trail being overlooked by a frog band last seen in Paul McCartney’s Frog Chorus video (see photo below). It’s cook it yourself meat on a red hot stone. With assorted salads and kimchi. Am at risk of overdosing on kimchi. A large boulder is presented at your place setting atop a burner. Place the meat on top of the stone and cook it to your liking. Great fun. But. All actions have consequences. The cooking meat gives off smoke. Not so bad if it were just one stone. But no. There’s fifteen or us. All cooking on individual hot stones at the same time. The dining room is soon thick with the fog of cooking meat. Windows have to be opened.

Passes and documentation handed back and checked at the various check points as we exit the Mount Kumgang area. Back the way we came. Along the coast road. Lots of boats out in the bay and assume it’s a military exercise. Seems like they’re preparing for war given the rhetoric by both the USA and the DPRK at this point in time.

Stop at the Sijung Beach Resthouse again. Discover they sell Sprite. The Sijung Beach Resthouse has a run on Sprite.

Return to Wonsan and late afternoon stroll along the causeway to Jangdok Islet. Housing a lighthouse. Walk along the way with young female guide.

And chat about life in the DPRK. Here’s an insight into life in the DPRK.

The lapel badges they wear, featuring the faces of the Kims, are only available to people over 18 and only to DPRK citizens. It can be awarded to foreigners who promote the DPRK (hoping I’ll get one with this blog!) though not tourists.

People wearing green uniforms are workers but people wearing green uniform with epaulettes are military. Blue uniforms are for police.

She’s 26, lives with Mum, Dad and younger sister in an apartment in Pyongyang. She works six days a week and has Sunday off. Saturday night her and her friends like to go to karaoke. Her and her Mum have a glass of European wine each night (imported from China no doubt) and Mum makes homemade schnapps with various berries/fruit (much like our own homemade sloe/damson gin). Her doctor told her to not drink beer as it’s bad for her liver. But the wine is OK?! Studied English at university in Pyongyang (her English is very good) along with a bit of Chinese. After the university course, she took a month’s course to learn how to be a tour guide and has been doing this job for three years but doesn’t get paid well as it’s ‘so-so’. It’s normal to have two guides per group. We have a young female guide and an older male guide, about 50. Tourists are not allowed to leave the hotels as the guides need to keep us all contained. On the question of bowing everywhere it’s out of respect and the same as us westerners shaking hands. We are able to email the DPRK tour company that she works for but the guides don’t have their own email address, as they have no access to the outside world. We would have to send something by postal mail to her home address if we wanted to send anything but with the obvious and unsaid that this would be checked by the state.

Apparently our group is a very good group as we all get on and have fun but another English group (consisting of four men) we saw in Pyongyang a few days ago on another short tour were a complete nightmare according to their guide. They would open a bottle of whisky in the morning and drink all day. And that, dear reader, is the type of tourist you’ll find slapped in solitary confinement for ten years! The guides have told us about foreigners being thrown in jail for the simple reason that they were being idiots and disrespecting the Kims. It’d be like a foreigner coming to England doing something stupid, disrespecting the Queen and breaking the law. He’d be slapped in jail. You would have no sympathy for them. You’d be the first to shout “throw away the key!”

All along the causeway we see mussel beds denoted by buoys floating out in the bay. I say buoys. Buoys suggests a properly made marker buoy. What I actually mean is anything that floats. Like polystyrene crates or plastic drums. Locals cooking fresh oysters on charcoal barbeques. Fisherman mending nets and ropes. People partying on the small strip of beach with a loudspeaker. Nice relaxed atmosphere. Very seasidey. Very Bournemouth.

At the top of the islet is the lighthouse but unfortunately what would be good views are tempered by trees getting in the way. It’s a very pleasant end to the day strolling along the causeway chatting with locals and our guide.

An 8km long tunnel along the smoothest tarmac we’ve experienced in the country leads us from Wonsan to the ski resort of Masikyrong. Yes, dear reader, you read that right. A ski resort.

The Hotel Masikyrong (https://www.pyongyang-travel.com/portfolio/masik-ryong-hotel/) is brand new and one of the best in the DPRK. Very Alpine rooms. You’d be forgiven for thinking you were in an Tyrolean hotel. All pine walls, floors and ceilings. Snow on the pistes too.

And the highlight at dinner?

To everyone’s delight.

Ice cream.

Little things in the land of little, dear reader. Little things.

NK 12. Piano playing

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Wednesday, 19 April 2017

Mount Kumgang, North Korea

Breakfast in the garish banqueting room. A long table is laid out with a breakfast buffet and a hot water urn and tea/coffee etc. Naturally, I go and make my own tea.

As soon as I do the others shout, “Nooo….”

Stopped in my tracks from making that all important first brew. That much needed first brew.

Am told it’s waitress service. Look around to see said waitress appear. She is not happy that I’ve done her job and made my own brew. Not happy at all, dear reader. Miffed even.

Ask for sugar but am told no. There’s going to be a rumpus if I don’t have sugar in my brew.

Fellow travellers donate their sugar cubes. Sugar is being rationed.

Served omelette and toast with the smallest pat of butter. Which doesn’t last long. About the corner of one of the slices of toast.

So I ask for more. All Oliver like.

Dear God. It’s not going well. I can’t have more butter. I am told. That’s it.

Oh well.

Can I have another brew please.

That sends the waitresses into a tizz. A discussion ensues between them as to whether I can be served another brew.

Involves one young waitress running to the kitchen to ask if I can have another brew.

A second brew eventually arrives on the table. After a lot of commotion. Deary me.

The hotel is on the beach. Pristine golden sands the like of which I’ve never seen before. Perfect beach. But it’s empty. Devoid of tourists. Shame as it’s a really nice hotel. It deserves more people.

Hamhung’s top tourist attraction is…wait for it…you’ll like this…

A fertiliser factory!

And we get a guided tour.

Actually located about 9km from Hamhung in an adjacent town called Hungnam. Clearly the jewel in the Hungnam tourist crown as we are told it’s OK to take photographs. Which surprises.

Introduced to the 71 year old Chief Engineer who retired a few years ago after 47 years of working at the same factory. A real character and I bet he’d be good to have a beer with. Taken to the compressor hall where a number of 4,000HP compressors that were installed in the 1950s are still going strong. The electrical controls are antique but seemingly still work. Huge murals on display at the gable end of the factory…for the cause. Fascinating place.

As we make our way through the 2km x 2km complex every inch of soil you see is given over to cultivating crops. Even the soil between pylon legs. People playing volleyball in one of the side streets obviously on a break.

Allowed in the main reception building but sadly the only place we can’t take photos. For some inexplicable reason. The lobby is a grand hallway with tall wooden doors, Stalinist in style, leading into a large conference room.

Fertiliser factory tour finished it’s the Dongbong Co-operative Farm next. On the outskirts of town. Met by a local guide but all conscious of a couple of men in black lurking about watching us. We’ve been more aware of this outside Pyongyang and assume they’re State Security. A couple of men in black were also watching us yesterday at the Kim statues.

Guide delights in telling us that the mosaic of Kim Il-Sung standing in a field of crops denotes the time he visited the farm. It has a farm shop. Not the sort you’d find in your local rural village. No. See photos below. Bit different to that. Kim Il-Sung rocks up at the farm shop and tells them to put more stock on display. So they did. You did as instructed. No discussion.

Now, there’s an assortment of biscuits, sweets, drinks, dried fish and a whole storage bin of salt on one side of the shop. The other side of the shop has brightly coloured wellies, shoes, cloth and dresses.

Encouraged to buy some sweets and biscuits for the kindergarten though some refuse on ethical grounds. Poor kids. What kid doesn’t like a treat now and then.

Kindergarten next door to the shop is brilliant. Teacher is playing an organ contraption in the classroom and the kids are singing. The organ works by teacher pumping a foot pedal to generate the needed air flow. Looks ancient but each classroom has one. And they clearly work. See video below.

One of my fellow travellers has had the genius idea of bringing a Polaroid camera. She takes a photo of a kid. Gives the white blank film to them. Shows them how to waft it about. And wait. Until the photo develops.

There’s a little boy of about 4 sitting on the front desk in military uniform. You can tell he’s a cheeky boy by the way he smiles. His photo is taken and is given a blank white film strip. As it develops, his face comes through on the photo and he sees it. The look on his face is priceless. Would make your heart melt, dear reader.

He’s so chuffed and surprised at what’s happening before his eyes. A few of the women in the group start crying tears of joy. I’m not an emotional person, dear reader, but may have got a little emotional myself. He’s just so happy that he has this photo of himself. He’s so captivated by it. See the photos below, dear reader, and you’ll have a heart of stone if you don’t go, “Aaah”. He starts showing his mates his photo. He’s so excited. They’ve got one as well but not quite as excited about the westerners shoving things in their hands they’ve never seen before. I mean, can you imagine. You’re 4 years old. You live in the DPRK. You know nothing about the outside world. All of a sudden, a load of white people walk in to your class, point some plastic machine at you and give you a photograph. Of you.

One of the rooms in the kindergarten is dedicated to the life and times of the Kims. To indoctrinate the kids.

Three hour drive to Wonsan. Every bit of land is given over to agriculture. Roads continue to be very rough but tree lined which reminds me of France. There are also white painted concrete posts in the verge every few metres. Sometimes it’s white painted stones lining the roadside that go on for miles. Just think about the labour involved in doing that. It is phenomenal. And then think why? Not exactly busy roads. Everywhere appears clean and tidy though. Even the railway tracks are lined with white painted stones. Every sapling or small tree has a circle of white painted stones surrounding it.

Wonsan, by the sea, has a nice relaxed feel to it. A seasidey atmosphere even. Bit like Bournemouth. And as we’re at the seaside. Has to be fish and chips for lunch. Another excellent meal.

Further 3hr drive to Mount Kumgang stopping enroute at Sijung Beach Resthouse. Like something that fell out of the 1950s. Another spotless expanse of golden sands. Told that beaches on the east coast are sandy whilst those on the west coast are pebbly. Appears to be a military exercise happening on one of the beaches we pass and there’s plenty of barbed wire preventing a sea-borne invasion further up the coast.

Continue following the coastal road but as we approach the border start climbing up into the mountains which entails a 920m long tunnel which has armed sentries in concrete shelters protecting it at each portal.

Seeing a lot more military now as we near the border with South Korea. On entering Changjon, the coastal town near Mount Kumgang, there’s a military checkpoint where our guide has to produce some documentation before we can pass. Instructed to put cameras away. A second checkpoint on exiting the town. Approaching Mount Kumgang, guide has to obtain a vehicle pass. There’s a lot of military activity here. Mount Kumgang had been off limits to tourists for years after it was leased by the South Korean Hyundai company and was administered as a special tourist region exclusively for people travelling overland from South Korea. This was then stopped in 2010 and tourists from the DPRK could use it.

Actually meant to be staying in a South Korean developed resort Hotel Oekumgang which is meant to be upmarket. However. For reasons never fully explained, we’re not. Now staying in the not so 5 star Hotel Kumgangsan (https://asiasenses.com/accommodation/kumgangsan-hotel).

A grand piano sits in the lobby. Having restarted piano lessons after 35 years start playing very badly. My beautiful young female guide sees me and practically plonks herself on my lap to join me in playing piano. She instantly starts playing like a pro. She’s amazing.

It’s one of those spontaneous moments in life you’ll never forget.

NK 11. Bucking Bronco

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Tuesday, 18 April 2017

Hamhung, North Korea

 

Knock. Knock.

Who’s there?

“It’s me.”

It’s late at night though not fast asleep. Thankfully, for the girl next door knocking on my door. Again.

You’ll remember, dear reader, that we have the same adjoining rooms off a little lobby. The scene of a rumpus in the early hours on the first night.

Another nocturnal ‘chat’ required.

In our jim-jams. Again.

Al Jazeera reporting that the DPRK’s Foreign Minister is telling the USA not to bomb the DPRK as the DPRK will retaliate with its own nuclear missiles.

Girl next door is worried. Assure her that nothing will happen. The US Vice President is currently in Seoul. A stone’s throw away. Literally. If they nuke Pyongyang, they’ll nuke the VP too. USA’s allies have demanded no unilateral missile strikes on the DPRK.

It’s all kicking off.

Re-assured by my dulcet tones and rational thinking girl next door sidles off back to bed.

No further knocks in the night and wake to low and thick black clouds. A thunderstorm.

Absolutely chucking it down.

Having bought a number of postcards a few days ago they are posted in the hotel’s letterbox. Only very complimentary things are written on the back about the DPRK. Do want them delivered after all. Old friend (as in longevity…ahem) will be receiving two. I’m at the top of the leaderboard for postcards received from her friends and family. Yay.

Long drive to Hamhung on the eastern coast of the DPRK. Can’t see anything through the bus windows as they’re constantly steamed up. Sitting on the middle seat of the back row of the bus so I can stretch my long legs out down the aisle. Not the best place to sit. The road is bumpy. Very bumpy. The rear wheels hit the bump, shunt the back of the bus high up and then crash down. Along with my bottom. So bad, my body is thrown clear of the seat. And I come crashing down. Jarring my spine. With a few expletives.

Time.

And.

Again.

It. Is. Like. Riding. A. Bucking. Bronco.

Actually quite painful.

Hardly any traffic on the roads. The odd bus and car now and again. Cars, we are told, will belong to the elite.

Soon enter the mountainous area and parts of it remind me of the Highlands. Very brown landscape because of all the farming but still low cloud and heavy rain making it difficult to see much.

Driving through a tunnel, guarded at the portals by armed soldiers (as all tunnels are for some reason), the bus literally crashes onto the ground as we go over a very large bump hidden in the darkness of the unlit tunnel. Smashing the suspension. So bad I’m thrown into the air about a foot off my seat. So bad that the driver has to stop the bus after the tunnel to check the bus over.

Two hours of being jolted about on the backseat bucking bronco glad for a pitstop at the Sinphyong Tea House set on the shore of a small reservoir used for hydro power. Notable for the fact that it sells German chocolate and out of date Vietnamese look-a-like Werthers Originals.

The reservoir has been partially drained for hydro power generation which means that the lake bed is exposed. Hundreds of locals are fetching mud from the lake bed like a line of little ants scurrying to and fro. They apparently use it as natural fertiliser. All manual labour each with a bucket collecting mud. Hundreds of them.

Another two hours of being tossed about on the back before reaching the Ullim Waterfalls. Quite impressive falls. Still chucking it down with rain all get drenched walking the ten minutes to the falls up the valley.

Lunch was meant to be a picnic under sunny and blue skies by the waterfall.

Lunch is a picnic on an open to the elements terrace in a half derelict concrete building sheltering from the cold and incessant rain by the waterfall.

Cold tray of cold fish. Cold chicken. Salad (cold). Cold dumplings. Cold rice.

Oh and it’s cold.

In preparation for a dodgy lunch I’ve had the foresight at breakfast to make up a jam sandwich for Ron. Later on. That is. And an imported Snickers from Munich airport.

Chat with my fellow traveller (who is reading this) who looks very surprised when told I’m 47. “You’re quite playful!”, he says. Think that’s a compliment. Act your shoe size not your age, dear reader. Life is too short. Enjoy it whilst you can.

Rain, rain, goes away as we approach Hamhung and the blue sky puts in an appearance at last. Quite Alpine scenery as we drive through the mountains. Stop at a mountain pass so driver can have a fag break. There’s a restaurant and kiosk and the locals start waving to us and chatting as we have our leg stretch. Little kiosk sells snacks and even fresh fruit such as apples and tangerines. One of our group wants to buy some tangerines but doesn’t have money on her so goes back to bus to get the cash. As she does so, the bus driver gets his cash out and pays for about twenty tangerines. He refuses any money from us when we try and pay him back. Can you imagine a western tour bus driver doing that? And that’s the thing we find in the DPRK. How nice and friendly people continually are.

Arriving Hamhung late afternoon there’s a cheer from the women in the group at a toilet stop in an upmarket hotel. It has western style toilets. And clean. Rather than squat toilets experienced elsewhere enroute. Glad I’m a bloke.

Time to pay our respects Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il. Again. Standing atop Donhung Hill, the two very tall statues look out over Hamhung. It’s the done thing to present a bouquet of flowers to the statues and it’s my turn to cough up five euros for one of many bunches of flowers the group seems to be buying. As in Pyongyang, we line up in two rows and bow deep and long from the waist to pay our respects. I and a fellow traveller then proceed to place our bunches of flowers at the foot of the podium. Paying our respects.

As in Pyongyang, instructed to only take photographs of the whole statue not just a head shot or from behind. It’s the rules. Which I abide by as don’t want any problems exiting the country.

The hill upon which the statues reside was built by the residents of Hamhung as the statues were originally at street level and couldn’t be seen.

So.

Get this.

The residents moved 300,000 tons of earth from the nearby river to create this manmade hill plus 3,000 rocks to create the garden.

Quite impressive. Just shows how much the residents adore the Kims.

Glad they did as the hill affords cracking views across the roof tops of Hamhung’s apartment blocks which are brightly coloured in greens, purples and yellows.

Final stop at the former Royal Palace where emperor Ri Song Gye lived in the late 14th century. The main building apparently dated back to 1398 but was destroyed by Japanese feudal lord Hideyoshi’s forces at the turn of the 17th century and rebuilt in 1610. Our female guide is translating the local male guide and she can’t stop giggling when she has to translate and tell us that the 70 year old king liked girls and when they climbed the stairs he followed behind looking up their bottoms and then chose who to play with. She’s in fits of giggles explaining this to us and slightly embarrassed.

A 450 year old pine tree grows in the garden of the small palace complex. Pine in the DPRK is meant to bring long life. I take a needle from its branches. You’ll still be reading blogs from me in 200 years time, dear reader.

Overnight at the Ma Jon Hotel (https://asiasenses.com/accommodation/majon-beach-guesthouse). One of the DPRK’s finest hotels. On the beach. All the toiletries have obviously fallen off the back of a Sheraton Hotel as they’re all branded Sheraton. Large modern rooms and plush bathrooms. Could almost be a Sheraton.

Dinner is in the slightly garish banqueting room. With inflatable blue dolphins. There’s just our small group and one other dining in the large room. As you will see on the photos below.

NK 10. Oggy, oggy, oggy

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Monday, 17 April 2017

Pyongyang, DPRK

Think we can safely say that the Chongchon Hotel could be described as shabby chic but without the chic. Unable to turn off the underfloor heating the room is stifling and opening the window is a no no because of all the midges that swarm in. Need to take the quilt out of its cover sheet and sleep on top of the quilt and two other quilts in the wardrobe as the bed is like lying on a slab of concrete. So hard is it.

Whilst closing curtains/window last night, saw a security man patrolling the hotel grounds with a bright flashlight. The girls in our group had been told yesterday evening by our female guide to keep balcony doors and windows closed and locked for security as it’s not safe. Not sure if that was a means to ensure we don’t leave our hotel or if it really is unsafe. We have been instructed from the start of the trip that we are not allowed to wander out of the various hotels on our own and must stay put with the rest of the group.

Wake up to the dulcet tones of what sounds like Tony Blackburn. It surely can’t be. Can it? In the middle of North Korea?! But yes. It is. The girl in the next room is playing a recorded BBC Radio 2 programme which can be heard through the paper thin walls.

Breakfast is omelette with toast and jam. Wanting more than the regulation one cup of coffee, made to pay one euro for an additional cup. I mean, really?!

Chucking it down with rain as we walk down the main street of Myohyang town.

Guide tells us we’re being watched so only to take photographs when he says it’s OK.

Apartment blocks are three to four storeys high with very faded paint and told they’re 17 years old. Look much older than that. A street sign for a restaurant has chopsticks instead of our western knife and fork. The main square is a large expanse of concrete with a local government building on one side. Guide looks around and tells us to take photos very quickly as we may have problems. Quite from what or whom we don’t know.

Korean music is playing through loudspeakers installed at regular intervals. Apparently the music is on a patriotic theme to liven up the lives of the locals and make them work for the benefit of the country and be productive in their work.

This is the real DPRK we’re witnessing. Not like the relatively touristy capital. It’s fascinating.

Be thankful you live in the west. With your first world problems. Like no ripe avocadoes at Waitrose.

Short journey up the valley towards Mount Myohyang on Forestry Commission type gravel roads. And then. A surprise.

A massive 5 star hotel.

One of the best in the DPRK.

Having suffered power and water cuts in the night and hot shabby rooms in the Chongchon hotel last night all demand to know why we didn’t stay in the five star?! It’s EUR200 a night says the guide. Sod that. All happy to pay the extra.

Halfway up the valley is the Pohyon Temple. Founded in 1042 but heavily damaged in the Korean War. Restored and heavily decorated in colourful paint, it is said that the temple houses the original tablets of Confucius.

The main reason for travelling up through Alpine scenery towards the 6,000ft Mount Myohyang though is the International Friendship Exhibition. Housing all the gifts given to the Kims from other world leaders, visiting dignitaries and other assorted entities.

Before entering the complex built into the mountain, which I suspect could be used as a nuclear bunker, we’re shown the massive entrance doors about 4m high. Told they are solid brass. Looks like a paint job to me.

As with the mausoleum a few days ago, security is tight and all bags and cameras have to be checked in before passing through security scanners and then being patted down with wands by female staff in military uniform.

The complex is on six levels. It is phenomenal. Never seen anything like it. Massive hallways with massive chandeliers. The like of which I doubt I will ever see again. The DPRK does chandeliers like nowhere else. Not even the Middle East.

Many long corridors. Some 300m long (I kid you not) with numbered rooms off each side for gifts from particular countries. Chinese, Russian and African nations have the most gifts with whole series of rooms dedicated to them. European democracies, on the other hand, just have single display cases lumped together in the same room. The UK’s display cabinet has gifts from a number of insurance brokers which seems bizarre with the rest from various loony leftie workers’ parties.

Told of a French director of a company who gifted an ornate metal table topped with crystal glass. It was very expensive and because of that he was expecting it to be personally used by Kim Il-Sung. You can imagine how gutted he was he when visited the exhibition on a second trip and discovered his table in one of the display cases having been simply put directly there and unused by Kim Il-Sung.

One of the best gifts is from China and depicts a river and trees. Only on closer inspection do you realise it’s made from colourful bird feathers. Extraordinary.

The largest gift is a Russian aircraft which is housed in a hangar like room. The lengths to which all these gifts have been accommodated in this massive complex is bewildering.

Taken to three rooms with wax models of Kim Il-Sung in one, Kim Jong-Il in another and Kim Suk in the other. Kim Suk being the wife of Kim Il-Sung who died aged 32. In each room, have to line up in two rows and bow deeply and long from the waist at the wax models. In silence. Solemnity is the word here.

Except. One of our group, an Irish lad, doesn’t bow. Joke that we’ll see what happens when he tries to leave the country.

Our tour guide of the complex is a beautiful women dressed in typical DPRK dress and although she only speaks Korean she engages us with her beautiful brown eyes. The women in our group want a photo of her but she doesn’t want to. Having shared a little laugh with her about my height at the beginning of the tour I offer my right arm and give her a nod to join me for a photo.

And she does. Taurean charm you see.

However.

The women don’t want me in the photo.

So.

On the word ‘go’ I have to dart to my left to leave a beautiful woman on her own.

Fortunately she laughs at my antics. She’s really nice.

Back down the mountain and treated to lunch in the five star hotel we passed earlier. But as we find in other hotels, not that busy. You get the feeling there aren’t many guests. Even though it’s fully staffed. Excellent lunch and probably the best food we have on the tour. A foil parcel is presented on our plates. Ooh the excitement. Well, dear reader, it’s cut open to reveal. Half a fish. Yep. There’s a fish head staring up at me from my plate. Chopped in half.

Returning to Pyongyang along the same road we came, see an ancient tractor in a field. Seems to be on fire in the engine bay but can only assume this is a steam driven tractor as there’s a lot of steam/smoke from what appears to be the exhaust.

Drive through the suburbs of Pyongyang to the Mangyongdae Native Site. The birthplace of Kim Il-Sung in 1912. Told that it’s the exact thatched cottage where he was born and is still in-situ from over 100 years ago. Call me sceptical but it all looks a bit new and well kept to me.

Yet another very attractive female guide. The DPRK does very attractive female guides.

The ‘cottage’ is set in a large parkland and there’s more music playing over the loudspeakers. The various artefacts on show, including cooking utensils and pots, were all used by the family 100 years ago. Apparently.

Nearby is the Mangyongdae Fun Fair. Think disused amusement park last seen in Scooby Doo. You get the picture.

And to round the day off. On the bus, male tour guide surprises us with a rendition of ‘Oggy, oggy, oggy’. Who knew Max Boyce was big in the DPRK?!

Return to the Yanggakdo Hotel (www.north-korea-travel.com/yanggakdo-hotel.html) to discover we’ve all been given the exact same rooms that we had when we first arrived. Key cards are a precious thing in the DPRK. They all have the room number sellotaped on them. You must hand the key card back upon checking out. Don’t even think about leaving the country with a key card to your hotel room.

Hoping for a decent night’s sleep with no knocking again.

Ho. Ho. Ho.

NK 9. Bowing to the Kims

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Sunday, 16 April 2017

Mount Myohyang, DPRK

At last. A night’s sleep without someone banging on my door in the middle of the night!

Bliss.

My ration of one fried egg for breakfast and one coffee. Although there is plenty of other food available.

Today’s highlight is to see the preserved bodies of Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il in the mausoleum. The Kumsusan Palace of the Sun mausoleum. And by mausoleum, I mean the most enormous building and complex built specifically to display their bodies, to enable people to pay their respects. Last time I saw a building as big was in Ceacescu’s Bucharest.

There’ll be plenty of bowing today. I can assure you.

Once at the mausoleum the rules dictate that we leave everything on the bus apart from cameras which have to be checked in for collection after paying our respects.

The pre-tour information indicates that to visit the mausoleum one must be well dressed and suit, collar and tie are suggested for men whilst sober dresses for women. As I didn’t have space to pack a suit I’ve had to scrub up with deck shoes, smart jeans and shirt. What you might call smart casual at home. One of our group has indeed dressed up in suit, collar and tie. Making the rest of us look scruffy.

It’s a well organised affair and once off the bus all the visitors, mainly locals, line up in four long single file columns. Instructed to behave ourselves and be quiet and respectful. Guides are concerned that we’ll show them up. They’ll get grief if we do.

As we stand in line waiting our turn to enter, guide suddenly realises that we’ve all got handkerchiefs and tissues in our pockets which is disrespectful and that we’ll have to check them in. He’s now got a handful of snotty tissues and handkerchiefs to deal with very quickly as doesn’t want to miss our slot.

Before entering the complex, we proceed to a basement holding area and have to walk over rotating brushes, to clean the dirt and grit off the soles of our shoes, and then stand on a wet mat before drying them.

Up an escalator in twos and then on a 100m long travellator. In twos. Side by side. No messing around now. Have to stay where we are on the travellator to maintain separation from another group in front and behind. Have to stand up straight. Am told off as have hands behind by back. Apparently it’s disrespectful. Instructed to hold them in front or preferably by the sides. Guides are clearly worried that they’ll be seen to be not keeping control of their group.

And the subsequent repercussions.

More escalators and travellators as we glide by in silence looking at all the photos of the Kims. Finally enter the complex and silently directed by women in long black dresses and men in black suits through very opulent corridors, halls and stairways.

It is, quite frankly, breathtaking. The enormity of it all.

Massive chandeliers hang from the very high ceilings with smaller chandeliers (but still enormous) hanging around the perimeter.

And then. The main event.

The mausoleums of Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il.

Instructed to bow from the waist when at the bodies’ feet and both sides but not at the head end.

Enter as a group but in our rows of four and wait our turn. In silence.

First up is Kim Il-Sung. The mausoleum hall is very large and high ceilinged, maybe 20m high, and bathed in red light. Armed guards stand to attention in each corner.

Taking our guide’s lead we approach, in rows of four, the feet end first and level up as a row of four before bowing deeply and long at the waist. Then again at the right hand side. Bowing deeply and long. Walk past the head end without stopping and then again at the left hand side. Bowing deeply and long.

In silence.

Exit stage left.

More ornate corridors. And when I say corridors I mean large hallways.

Enter another very large hall containing Kim Il-Sung’s train carriage. Large wall map shows the routes he took on the train highlighted in flashing red lights. The routes he took by air in flashing blue lights.

Train carriage is very 50s/60s décor with a patterned carpet your Nan would have chosen, complete with chairs and a couple of desks. The following rooms contain collections of awards and medals conferred on Kim Il-Sung by various countries and universities around the world, including the DPRK.

See one such award from Derby City Council. That hotbed of communist thinking.

Most of the countries are obviously other dictatorships from South America and Africa or the former Eastern Europe and USSR. Another room displays his Mercedes Benz car, which is on jacks, and has a large photo of him by it.

And then.

The mausoleum of Kim Jong-Il. Same expanse as Kim Il-Sung’s

Process is repeated. In silence. Row of four at the feet end. Bow deeply and long from the waist. Then at the right hand side. Miss the head. Bow deeply and long from the waist at the left hand side. In silence.

Exit stage left.

Both preserved bodies are laid out with the bottom two thirds covered up leaving the top of the torso and the head on show. The head rests on a circular pillow with the body enclosed in a glass case, presumably for temperature and humidity control.

There’s also Kim Jong-Il’s train carriage to see which is notable as it’s the carriage where he died and has been left as it was when he died in December 2011. Wooden laminate flooring and big leather sofas down each side with a single table at the end full of papers he was editing/signing. Interestingly, given the USA is public enemy number one, he had an Apple Macbook Pro on his desk. And a foot massager below the desk. His clothes hang on a small clothes horse.

Another more modern Mercedes Benz car is on display. What is it with dictators and Mercedes Benz?

And if all that wasn’t bizarre enough, ushered into a larger hall which has his motor launch on display. Apparently, they built the hall around the boat and the train carriages.

It completes the tour of the mausoleum and we head back the way we came along the long travellators. And glad we got there as it opened as it’s now very busy with locals pouring in to pay their respects.

Retrieve cameras, tissues and handkerchiefs. Now allowed to take photographs outside in the gardens. And by gardens think National Trust large country house gardens.

But we’re not done with bowing.

No.

There’s more to come.

At the Mansudae Grand Monument. Back in the city centre. Up on a hill. A glimpse of which we saw yesterday. Mansudae is where the two 22m high statues of Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il stand looking out over the city.

Another place of pilgrimage for locals to pay their respects.

Not only is there bowing but buying of bouquets of flowers. De rigeur to pay respects and lay a bunch of flowers at the podium upon which the statues stand.

Lots of wedding parties having photos taken with the statues in the background. We have to line up in two rows with the ones selected to buy a bunch of flowers at the front. Standing to attention, facing the statues, the two that have flowers then proceed to lay the flowers at the podium before returning to our group. And then we all bow deeply and long from the waist. In unison. Think of the solemnity of Remembrance Sunday. But with wedding parties behind us.

Great atmosphere and full of locals paying their respects. Makes you wonder if all these flowers are collected at night and then resold the following day.

Wedding party photographer intimates to me that I should join the wedding group for a photo.

So, dear reader, in decades time when the young couple are old and retired, they’ll be looking fondly through their wedding photo album and will remember the time the western giant came lolloping into their wedding photos. And they will smile. “Ah yes, do you remember when…?”

Returning to hotel for lunch in the Chinese restaurant and delighted to discover there’s no kimchi on the menu. Love kimchi. But not every meal. Am all kimchied out.

Checking out of hotel, manage to snatch a few minutes of news from the outside world on Al-Jazeera. Who report that the DPRK have conducted another missile test but that it blew up on take-off.

However.

Local TV news shows a missile taking off and in full flight.

Missile test was expected this weekend. So no surprise.

US Vice President, Mike Pence, is currently in Seoul, South Korea, for talks so will be an interesting few days as Al Jazeera also report that Japan is practising mass evacuations.

Jolly good.

It’s all kicking off.

Before heading to Mount Myohyang, 3hrs north of Pyongyang, a brief excursion on a trolley bus. Not just any old trolley bus, dear reader. This is quite a celebrity trolley bus in Pyongyang. It’s the most merited trolley bus in Pyongyang. All trolley buses gain a star when they’ve done 50,000km without an accident. This one has 132 stars.

Work that out, dear reader. How many kilometres of accident free miles? It works out as an average of 403km per day over the 45 years since it was built in 1972. Hmmm.

The driver has been driving trolley buses for 42 years. He is the most famous and most decorated driver as he’s been driving this particular trolley bus for years without an accident. His wife acts as a conductor and sits in a tiny cubicle by the rear door. There are three designated seats. One for the elderly. One for veterans of the Korean War. One for pregnant women. If you’re sitting in such a seat then you must give it up for them. It’s a great little bus and you can sense how proud the husband and wife team are of it.

Bumpy tarmac roads all the way to Mount Myohyang but doesn’t seem as bad as the Reunification Highway we drove enroute to the DMZ. Lots more paddy fields as we head north rather than the maize we saw heading south to the DMZ. Lots of people working the fields with a mix of tractors and oxen pulling ploughs.

Arrive at the Chongchon Hotel (https://asiasenses.com/accommodation/chongchon-hotel) in Myohyang. Styled in Korean pagoda architecture on the banks of the Chongchon river. Rooms have underfloor heating. Which is incredibly hot. Balcony overlooks the river and instantly reminds of a hotel I stayed at in Kanchanaburi on the River Kwai in Thailand all those years ago. Let’s hope there isn’t a grumpy gecko galloping about inside the ventilation ducts throughout the night. Old friend will be reading this and thinking of my gecko anecdote. And now giggling. You’ll have to wait for the Thailand and Vietnam blog for that particular anecdote, dear reader.

Warned that as we’re out in the sticks that there may be power and water cuts. Hmm. Brave a cold shower whilst I still have running water. No hot water. A small bucket in the corner of the bathroom can be used to store water. Discover at dinner that hot water only available from 2000hrs. Thankful for electricity.

Told that to turn off the stifling underfloor heating you push a big red button on a panel at low level behind the door. Not immune to a bit of fiddling with electrics discover that the button is not connected to anything, having removed the panel face plate to reveal a load of burnt out wiring.

A hot and stifling night beckons.

NK 8. Things that go knock knock in the night

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Saturday, 15 April 2017

Pyongyang, North Korea

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

CHUFFING NORA. WHAT THE FLIP.

Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock. Knock.

Disturbed from a deep sleep. Again. Second night in a row now. I need a bit of peace and quiet.

Assume it’s my wake up call.

Look at watch. Er no.

It’s 2.20 in the chuffing middle of the chuffing night.

What the flip.

It’s not a threatening banging like last night’s escapades. More a polite knock.

And then, through the door, hear the girl next door say, “TT, I need to chat with you.”

FFS.

It continues.

“TT are you awake? I need to tell you something.”

For. The. Love. Of. God.

Lazily get out of bed and open door. Grumpy as a disturbed hibernating bear.

She’s standing there in her jim-jams. In our little ante-lobby.

“WHAT?!” Less than impressed am I. Quite frankly can do without this. Don’t care what crisis it is. I. Need. Some. Sodding. Sleep.

“I need to chat with you. I can’t sleep.” Well I can’t now either. She’s been watching Al-Jazeera TV news (the only foreign TV station we can watch and get a sense of what is going on in the outside world as we have no mobile or internet access).

News reports suggest that China has suspended all flights to the DPRK and that the US is planning a military strike on the DPRK (on account of the DPRK firing missiles). Whilst it’s possible, I think it unlikely that we’ll be used as human shields any time soon.  Really can’t be arsed with this discussion at 0220hrs in the middle of the sodding night and tell her to go to bed.

She’s contemplating how we’ll get out of the country and daren’t take a sleeping tablet now as she won’t wake up in time. And has got herself into a bit of a flap. Assure her nothing will happen in the next few hours and to go back to bed.

FFS. Time. And Place.

Another disturbed night.

Finally, wake up for breakfast. Knackered. Obviously. Breakfast is in the hotel’s banqueting hall. With garish bright pink décor. Plenty of other western tourists. Plenty of food available though rationed to one fried egg.

Today is the 105th anniversary of the birth of Kim Il-Sung, the founding father of the DPRK. It’s a national holiday and the highlight will be the military parade in front of Kim Jong-Un, his grandson and current Supreme Leader. Missiles, tanks, military personnel all to be paraded through the streets of Pyongyang. Assume we won’t be allowed to get close given we are westerners.

How wrong we are.

As we drive to the Worker’s Party monument, plenty of people walking about in their Sunday best heading towards the parade route to cheer on their military. Having parked up one side of a massive plaza we’re allowed to walk to the monument about ten minutes walk away and allowed to mingle with the locals. Something we didn’t think we’d be allowed to do. There’s a great party atmosphere. Bright blue sky, sunny and warm. Everyone very friendly.

The Worker’s Party Monument consists of three 50m high stone pillars with a hammer, sickle and pen on top. Hammer represents the workers. Sickle represents farmers. Pen for intellectuals. A large circular stone base ties them all together in unison. Impressive structure.

Adjacent this monument is a small exhibition and souvenirs showing photos of the Kims in various places. The photos of Kim Jong-Un show his assistants taking notes. Told that they take notes so that they can implement his instructions as he tours factories etc. Hmmm.

As westerners, we’re not allowed access to the central square holding the military parade with Kim Jong-Un but can watch the parade live on TV and ushered into a room for a coffee and a sit down. Our tour guides seem very proud of the military might on display. And it is quite an impressive sight to see all the military on parade. The square is so large that the General taking the salute is driven around in an open topped Mercedes to each section.

Makes Trooping the Colour look like a picnic.

As we walk to the Flower Show, we’re all waving and saying hello to the locals who return the waves and hellos. Such a jolly and relaxed atmosphere. Some locals very happy to have their photos taken but others seem shy and not sure what to do with a westerner.

The flower show is enormous. Set inside a massive exhibition hall with the obligatory display dedicated to a painting of Kim Il-Sung. Again freely mixing with the locals and saying hello. Not at all how it was portrayed in the press back home.

Excellent lunch with grill your own lamb, beef and duck and various salads and rice. Food has been excellent thus far. Not what we had been expecting.

As part of the parade there’s a flypast of various aircraft but the best display is a group of aircraft which fly in formation to show the numbers 1, 0 and 5 to denote the 105th anniversary.

We’re about a kilometre from the parade at this point and watching the various floats drive by from a distance. So assume that’s as near as we’ll be allowed.

Well. Rather surprisingly. And exceeding expectations. We’re taken to the actual parade route. After they’ve paraded in the main square in front of Kim Jong-Un the missiles, tanks and troop carriers then do a lap of honour around Pyongyang. And we have front row seats. There are thousands lining the route. All dressed in their Sunday best. Men in suit and tie. Women in brightly coloured national dress of pink, yellow and red dresses.

At this point in time, as there’s no parade coming by, most are sitting down on the kerb and pavement. Waiting.

Loud music is playing through large loudspeakers atop a van. Soldiers line the wide boulevard. Plenty of men in black suits milling around who look like security, observing. As the floats start to be seen in the distance, the loud music stops and the men in black suits seem to start telling people to stand or giving them a gentle tap on the shoulder to stand.

The parade starts passing our position. All are waving bunches of red plastic flowers as the parade goes past. Shouting. Waving. Cheering.

Awesome atmosphere.

The first float is two very large statues of what would be Kim Il-Sung and Kim Jong-Il were they not covered up in cloth. Told it’s for protection. Very bizarre. After the carnival type floats depicting DPRK life the military hardware trundles by.

Ballistic missiles. Wrapped up in camouflage netting.

Tanks.

Armoured personnel carriers.

Surface to air missiles. Wrapped up in camouflage netting.

Troop carriers.

More tanks. Belching out exhaust fumes and thundering by in a deafening roar.

We’re allowed to stand by the roadside joining in as the missiles and tanks go by. So close to the action.

Look at the videos below.

Utterly brilliant. Never seen anything like it before. Allowed to take photos and videos to our heart’s content. Never thought we would be able to get this close. Considering rule number one in the DPRK is ‘DO NOT TAKE PHOTOS OF MILITARY’ it’s all very relaxed. The soldiers lining the boulevard don’t stop us from taking photos.

A happy and party atmospheres pervades this warm and sunny afternoon.

Awesome experience.

All agree that was a memorable moment. Tour guides are very happy that we are very happy.

Once the parade has passed head to Moran Park where all the locals are now congregating to enjoy the rest of the day. Great atmosphere. Walk up to the Victory/Liberation Monument high up on the hill with cracking views of the city. The base of the monument is being worked on with some bits of builder’s rubble and polythene sheeting and we’re asked not to photograph the base showing the dirt and rubble. Only the top part of the monument. This is the first time we’re asked not to photograph something. It won’t be the last. Can only assume it’s pride.

As we walk through the parkland, a large group of older people are dancing in the woods to music through a loudspeaker. We’re free to dance with them and I’m hoping for a nice young girl to dance with but end up with a middle aged old lady. Great fun though. Blow a kiss to my old lady and she returns it laughing. I’ve pulled. A muscle.

Pockets of people partying and partaking in picnics in the park. Small and elderly local man comes up to the women in our group wanting to kiss them on the cheek in a jokey sort of way. He hasn’t seen me and as I approach behind him tap him on his shoulder and tap my finger on my cheek jokily motioning for a kiss on the cheek. All laugh. And laugh some more when he tries to jump up to try and reach me. So funny. Locals have a sense of humour and up for a laugh.

Take a photo of a group of people and it’s only later that night when checking through photos that it appears to be the same group of people that I took at the Flower Show that morning. Assume it’s coincidence but then remind myself that when in Beijing, a few days earlier, the hotel receptionist told me that she’d heard that the DPRK use actors to follow the tourists around. Makes you wonder.

Evening entertainment at the circus and acrobat show set inside a large purpose built building with grand entrance. They know how to build big statement buildings here. Audience is a mix of a few western tourists, military people in full uniform and locals. Highlight is the comedy duo who do very funny sketches in between setting up various trapeze and trampoline rigs. A shining example of mime having no language barriers. Full on laugh out loud belly laughter.

As it’s the 105th anniversary celebrations, treated to an immense firework display over Pyongyang.

Pyongyang does fireworks.

Absolutely cracking day.

Another memorable day.

Loving the DPRK.

NK 7. Help! Screamed the girl.

1 Reply

Friday, 14 April 2017

Pyongyang, North Korea

 

ALMIGHTY BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

WHAT THE…

ALMIGHTY BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.

VERY LOUD AND VERY CLOSE.

Disturbed from a deep sleep. You can imagine how grumpy I am.

Jetlagged, dazed and confused I come to. At first, I think it’s my wake up call scheduled for 0645hrs.

Look at watch.

It’s 0500hrs. The middle of the chuffing night.

The banging is very loud and incessant.

A man is shouting through the door.

A female voice is screaming for help.

Clucking bell.

It’s the girl in the room next door.

Leap out of bed all gazelle like, unlock and open my bedroom door. Making myself as physically big and aggressive as I can. No idea what I’m about to walk into. Discover a young ‘local’ lad in his twenties banging and shouting on the girl in the next bedroom’s door. You’ll remember from the yesterday’s post that our doors are close together and off a small ante-lobby from the main corridor. The girl is my fellow traveller whom I’ve just met.

Lad is fully clothed. I. Am. Not. Standing there in my t-shirt and boxers. It’s not a good look ladies.

Lad looks dazed and doesn’t seem to know what day it is. Drugs. Alcohol. Stupidity. Sleepwalking. I know not.

Girl next door is screaming from the other side of the door. The lad is taught two English words. One of which is ‘off’. You can imagine the first word.

Girl can now hear me verbally abusing lad and is now shrieking through her door, “TT is that you? I’m absolutely petrified!! Is he drunk?”

Tell her not to worry. It’s OK.

I. Am. Here.

The same two English words are repeatedly barked at lad. He’s clearly not quite sure how to take the giant standing in the doorway in his jim-jams about to throttle him.

He’s now stopped shouting. Partly in fear at what I look like I could possibly do. Murder. Partly because I’m the one who is doing the shouting. Repeating the same two English words. Very loudly. Very aggressively.

The lights are on but no one is at home it seems. The same two English words are shouted. Repeatedly. Can tell he’s startled and is no danger now. He’s calmed down. He’s cowering in the corner.

Try a different word. “Leave!!” shout I.

And, rather surprisingly, he exits our little ante-lobby and stands in the main corridor. Just standing there looking dazed.

The same two English words are shouted. Again. And again. I’ve probably woken up the whole floor now with my shouting. Only an annoying and irritating little sister will know how loud I can shout at someone.

After a minute or so lad wanders off. And disappears. Never to be seen again.

Silence.

Until. A little voice from the girl next door, “Has he gone?”. At which point she comes out of her room, having moved the desk and chairs she had propped up against the door.

So. There we are. She’s in her jim-jams. I’m in my jim-jams. We’ve only just met.

Welcome to Pyongyang.

You couldn’t make it up, dear reader.

My heart is pounding. It’s 0500hrs. Woke up in a state of shock. Wound up. Knackered.

Say goodnight to girl. And back to bed for a 0645hrs alarm call. Ninety minutes later.

Doze for the remaining hour and a half. Until I hear a knocking on my door. Again. Assuming it’s a cleaner or gentle wake up call it’s ignored.

Meet girl in lobby. Both laugh at our nocturnal activities.

And so begins our tour of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. As that’s a mouthful I’ll call it the DPRK. Not North Korea.

Driving through the city centre of Pyongyang early morning see plenty of people walking and queuing to pay their respects at very large murals of Kim Il-Sung (the founding father) and Kim Jong-Il (his son). Standard communist era architecture. Lots of apartment blocks in various colours.

Heading south on the Reunification Highway to the DMZ. The De-Militarised Zone at Panmunjon. About 160km/100miles (3 to 3.5hrs drive) from Pyongyang. As we leave the city behind, the landscape is varied and quite mountainous. Very red soil and the farmers seem to be growing maize and rice. Lots of people on bikes and quite a few wave to us as we drive by in the bus. Seems very friendly.

Although tarmac, the road is very rough and bumpy. Hardly any other road traffic. Just us in the bus plus a few cars. Which we’re told will belong to government officials or people high up in the party.

Stop at what would be a motorway service station. The sort you would find in Europe bridging the motorway.

But.

It’s not open. Not enough traffic to warrant opening.

So.

The staff have set up a few tables outside in the car park to serve hot drinks from a flask. And cakes and biscuits. And sweets. Good job it’s not raining.

A significant lack of traffic allows you to stand in the middle of the road. It would be the equivalent of standing in the middle of the M1 during morning rush hour.

Arriving at the DMZ there’s the obligatory souvenir shop and an explanation of the DMZ and the JSA. The Joint Security Area. Followed by security checks to enter the actual DMZ and JSA. Having been to the DMZ in South Korea a few years previously, it’s a lot more relaxed this side of the fence.

Potted history.

The De-Militarised Zone is the 250km long, 4km wide, border between the DPRK and South Korea. Running from the Yellow Sea in the west to the Sea of Japan in the east. Established following the Korean War armistice in 1953, after three years of war between the communist north and the democratic south. Within this DMZ is a meeting point where the two nations negotiated the armistice. This meeting point is called the Joint Security Area.

The Joint Security Area is at Panmunjon. You can visit the JSA as a tourist from both the DPRK side and the South Korean side. Within the JSA is an assortment of buildings including a row of blue huts called the ‘Conference Rooms’ in which the actual border runs straight through the middle. If you see the photos below, you’ll see the blue huts and a raised concrete plinth running between them. That concrete plinth is the border. You’ll recognise it as the place where President Trump met Kim Jong-Un.

In addition, there are administrative buildings belonging to both DPRK and South Korea on each side.

The actual armistice was signed in the Armistice Hall just inside the DPRK border and it’s set out exactly as it was during the peace negotiations in 1953. A fascinating slice of history.

It is sometimes allowed for tourists to enter the Conference Room blue huts and cross into South Korea and back again into the DPRK. Sadly, due to heightened tensions (minor issue of DPRK firing missiles left, right and centre) not able to enter the huts.

Instead, taken inside Panmun Hall, the DPRK’s administrative building to an outdoor viewing balcony for an impressive view of the border and the South Korean admin building with a phenomenal amount of security cameras.

What you have to remember is that we have no internet or mobile phone signal in the DPRK. So you can imagine my delight when I discover that my phone can pick up the South Korean 4G signal. Which necessitates secretly sending a WhatsApp message home without the security guards seeing me.

Lunch is inside the JSA and our first real taste of DPRK food. It’s excellent. Lots of small bowls of various foods placed before us. A smorgasbord of delicacies. Had been warned that we would be overfed despite Western media reports that locals are starving. Whilst that may be the case, we saw no one that looked like they were starving.

Apart from the delicious food, the highlight is being served by stunningly beautiful young girls in green khaki uniforms and…high heels. Rather enjoying the DPRK.

Short tour of the Kaesong Museum, the historically important original seat of learning, founded in 992AD, although the structures we see today date back to the 18th century. Guide points to an old drinking cup and explains that it was used by Generals before going into battle and makes a quip about what to say when drinking. Except the ‘bottoms up’ translates as ‘bottoms it up’.

Leave Kaesong as the schools are coming out and see long lines of children holding hands and waving to us as we drive by. Very friendly.

Back in Pyongyang, treated to a pint in a pub. The Taedadong 3 Microbrewery is one of many and is basically a room with a bar at one end on the ground floor of what appears to be an office block. Very nice pint.

Dinner is in a local ‘hot pot’ restaurant. Not quite Betty Turpin’s Hot Pot. Each person presented with a little burner and a small pan of water and oil. Along with plates of raw ingredients.

CIY. Cook. It. Yourself. Like Masterchef we have to cook the meat, noodles and veg before adding the egg. Great fun and tasty. Plenty of food. Not sure how local a restaurant it is as all the other customers are western tourists.

2100hrs by the time dinner finishes. Late getting back to hotel. Again.

Dear reader, I am shattered.

All I want is a nice long sleep. Undisturbed by being woken up in the middle of the night. Again.

Ho. Ho. Ho.