It’s only been two days since the new arrivals but there’s already a queue to punch certain little old ladies in the face. Annoying so they are. One has asked the train staff if there’ll be mosquitoes. In Africa of all places?! When told there will be she opts to stay on train for the day.
Taken to a local homestead to see how the natives live. Told it’s the real McCoy and not for tourists. Except they have a souvenir stall laid out in the meeting place. They’ve made handbags out of two 12″ vinyl records sewn together (the records forming the sides). You can walk about with the Sound of Music on your arm. Hats woven from VHS tape. Treated to a talk by the local chieftain.
They live off the land. They drink pure water from a borehole. They eat proper food that is pretty much organic. They breathe pure fresh air. They’re fit and healthy. Not like us in the West. He has a point.
One of the mini-buses becomes stuck on the uphill section of the dirt track out of the village. A few of us jump out to help the other drivers push it out. Dust and grit flying about everywhere.
Interesting tour of the local crocodile farm and to see the vultures feeding again with my old mate Zulu. Meet the girlfriend of one of the guides. They want to marry. He needs 13 cows before her family will allow it. Both families met to agree the number of cows that were required. Her family started with 17 cows. His family asked if she was a virgin. No. That’s a two cow discount. Is she a good cook. No. Another two cows knocked off the price.
Treated to a bush dinner by the Zambezi river. Another woman asks the train staff if there’ll be mosquitoes. Down by the river. In Africa. She opts to stay on the train as well. What is it with these people?!
Short walk down a bush path to an open area in the bush. A number of elephants have just been through judging by the soft squidgy stuff some people have trodden in. With open toed sandals.
Tables of ten. Four younger (it’s all relative) Canadian women who are normal. Me. Three Swiss. Obnoxious ugly Swiss woman asks if they can smoke. Not at dinner table if you don’t mind. Please. Thank you. Why don’t you go and stand over by the fire with the other smokers? That would seem sensible and courteous wouldn’t it? No. Am told there’s no wind so the smoke will rise vertically. They all light up. Rude lot. Needless to say the smoke drifts over to our side of the table. Riled. Incensed. Look you stupid woman the smoke is drifting over to us. Don’t worry we’re told. She’ll blow the smoke up in the air. Once again the smoke drifts over to our side. She’s made to put it out. Distasteful lot.
